June 3, 2018
Upon seeing the land, home, and out buildings at our Laurel
Fork property for the first time, two things stuck out in my mind: the gorgeous old barn that would continue to
decay without some love and the fantastic little picnic shelter just waiting to
be filled with family. We have been a
year working on the barn, and while we are not ready to milk in it, we have
come a long, long way. The barn stands gorgeous now and ready for many more
years of service. I realize the brevity
of life and the swiftness with which I will become “old” and the fact the barn
will most likely stand strong now long after my body has given up. The shelter, on the other hand, didn’t need a
lot of care in order for us to begin enjoying it. We took an old dead tree down that threatened
to fall on it and the screens need to be replaced (a less pressing project for
later), but other than those two things, the building was simply waiting for a
crowd. We had two outdoor, family events
last year after we bought the place, but Memorial Day weekend last year had
heavy downpours at times and we opted to set up the food in the house and use
the covered, front porch for overflow.
In the fall, we had another family event, but it ended up being pretty
cold and we ate indoors. I was
determined this time, rain or shine, we were using the shelter. We ended up with an absolutely gorgeous day,
neither too hot or too cold, and not more than a few sprinkles of rain, even
though we were sure a couple of times that the clouds were going to move in and
pour down on us. At one point, a few
hours before the event, I wondered if I had bitten off more than I could chew.
I knew that I had done way more than I should have beforehand. I had used the
get together as an excuse to knock the rest of winter’s dirt and fireplace smoke
from the farthest corners of the house and to sweep away spring’s cobwebs and
pollen. Mike and I both had been working
nonstop inside and out for more than a week, wanting to get as much done as we could,
paying attention to details that one lets slide until they know they are having
company. Yet, no matter how hard one works,
when you get down to the last minute, there are things you wish you would have
had the time to do, and by that time, running out of energy and patience. Mike had made an overnight trip back to
Verona to pick up his mom. She had just
visited recently, but we didn’t want her to feel left out knowing we were
having some of the family here. We knew she would want to be here if she
could. While he was there, he mowed the
grass at her house, organized hay sales, and never stopped working. Staying in Laurel Fork to continue getting
ready for our event on Saturday, I also hosted the “early birds”. Gabino, unable to be here over a weekend,
came on Tuesday and stayed two days with us. We were thankful for his help
working on fencing and helping Mike begin the process of installing a water
trough that will fill automatically from the stream and have a run off to
always keep the water fresh, at least when it is warm enough not to freeze in
the pipes. Alissa and the girls arrived
late Tuesday night and stayed through until Sunday afternoon. They had been in Georgia with Nan for close
to two weeks. We did take one afternoon and drive into Galax to eat at the
Mexican restaurant. I laughed when Gab
ordered food with the correct dialect and pronunciation and told the Hispanic
server that we had to bring Gab in so that someone would know how to speak
correctly. I went on to introduce him as
our son in law and then Alissa spoke up, “And I am their daughter.” The server, whom we have conversed with on
multiple occasions, especially about UVA basketball as he is a UVA fan, laughed
and said, “I’m glad you told me, I would have never guessed that.”
Analia was my helper
while she was here and I let her do things like feed the chickens, gather the
eggs, mop the porch, help bake the cake, set the table for meals, sweep the
floors and such. She loves to help Tita
work, but at four years old, that means Tita needs to slow down and help her do
it. I feel those times with the
grandkids are so valuable and fleeting. Poor Rory was cutting molars, miserable and
cried for multiple days. She wouldn’t
eat, only nursing, and wanting to be held most of the time. Besides in depth cleaning and organizing, I
spent a lot of time prepping food and making far more than we could possibly
eat. I never want anyone to be hungry or
to run out of something they enjoy or to not have choices, so I tend to make
too much. I just keep thinking of “one
more thing” I want to make. We made BBQ
Beef, BBQ Pork and I cooked hot dogs and hamburgers over an open flame at the
firepit. Our meal included potato salad,
settler beans, pickled eggs, and macaroni and cheese along with slaw, broccoli
salad and fruit brought by guests. Mike
and I both worked until the last minute, fussing at each other as the time drew
near for the party to begin. He and I
are so different, truly opposites, but when it comes to many things but we are
alike in the fact we are both project oriented and push to accomplish our
goals. When our focus is the same, we
are a great team. When our focus is
different, we often react in negative ways to one another as one pushes for one
thing and one another. Last minute push
for a get-together means I am trying to have food and house the way I want it
and last-minute push for him means he is running the weed eater, lawn more and
repairing things that really don’t need to be repaired at that moment (in my
opinion). I could choke him and he could
choke me and we snip and snap at each other but as soon as the last-minute
crunch is over and the guest begin to arrive, we are both happy to have
everyone and relax into the fact that we did everything we could up until the
last minute. It would be nice if we
could both learn to leave the “Type A” personality behind in regard to accomplishing
goals but truth is we will probably snap at each other and push each other
under pressure until we are ancient. We
always kiss and make up, laugh at ourselves and say we will do better next
time, knowing we will fall back into the same pattern again and again.
Other than the fact a few key people were “missing” due to
work, illness, or distance, the weekend was better than we even imagined. The grands had the most wonderful time and
all of them were so well behaved. They
played, and played, running all over the yard, swinging in the trees, blowing
bubbles, gathering eggs, soaking up sunshine and filling our home with their
sweet voices. Our nephew and his family
were able to be with us again and we love them so much. We love all of our family but even within
families there are those with whom one just “clicks” and with whom it is easy
to just “be”. This nephew and his wife
are like that for us. Having them here
is just as natural as having our children and grandchildren here and in the end
feels “effortless” and relaxed.
Sunday, we asked the girls if they would go to church with
us knowing that they would be loved by the members there but also knowing they
would probably be hesitant to go. We
wanted them to go with us but didn’t want to push them at all into something
that made them feel uncomfortable. We
assured them their casual clothes wouldn’t make a difference and they agreed to
come. The children were so well behaved
(although it wouldn’t have mattered if they had not been) and they participated
by holding song books, saying The Lord’s Prayer, and going to the front from
the children’s story. By the time they
left, they were hugging folks and completely comfortable in our little
church. It was a real joy to us and we
went away counting our blessings.
Betwixt and between all the work and family time this week,
we monitored the cattle that we brought with us. In Staunton, we can see them from the windows
at all times and know if something is not right. Here, there is enough acreage and the terrain
is such that we need to make an effort to find them and check on their well
being at times. I guess it is not
necessary, but I feel better knowing they are ok. They have started making a visit or two a day
to “the bottom of the holler” where I can see them. I usually join them inside the fence to
scratch their top knots and rub their sides.
Mike, with Gabino’s help worked on fencing in the area in front of the
barn where we originally were going to plant a garden. We dropped that idea choosing rather to put
raised beds closer to the house for convenience as well as to deter the
deer. I was thrilled, because that area
is a very nice, flat spot that will be perfect for weaning cattle or for
keeping mom’s with small calves. When
that area is finished, we will be able to bring the momma’s and babies down. I just don’t feel comfortable with the babies
out on the “back forty”.
We are doing our best to make the most of the summer, but
the rain has made it difficult. We have
actually had it good in Laurel Fork because the rains have been mostly gentle,
although frequent and often we are able to just go on working in spite of the
rain. It makes it hard and parts of our
place are torn up where we have tried to move trucks, trailers, and use the
loader on soft ground but we have not had any flooding or major storms with
which to contend. That is not true of
North of here where folks are getting flooded out. The farmers in the valley have not been able
to cut hay or plant crops. Mike has been
anxiously watching for “a window” in which he can make the almost 100 acres of
hay that needs to cut. He also is
frustrated at not being able to get his soy beans planted and the garden there
has had too much rain. But, even there,
compared to areas close by, the damage done by the rain is not as severe. Harrisonburg, Dayton and Bridgewater are
dealing with flooding as one rain comes after another. This coming week looks like the break
everyone has been waiting for and Mike is geared up and ready to put in some
long days in the Valley.
Things with grandma have been intense this week. Those of us close to her feel our hearts
breaking as she declines, struggling mentally with the changes that were forced
upon her due to the broken ankle and subsequent therapy. As with my children, I followed my gut for
the past two year regarding grandma, dragging my feet to make changes in her
living arrangements, knowing instinctively that any changes would more than
likely send her into a downward spiral.
She had held on so tightly to her routines and to what was familiar in
order to keep order in her mind and function in a manner that was important to
her. Now we are losing her, I fear. Her body is strong but she is growing weary
in her mind and so very confused with all the changes. It breaks my heart and the nurturer in me
wants to protect her from the devastating affects of dementia that is causing
her to lose control. Being in control
has always been of utmost importance to her and at times I just want to scream
along with her at the injustice of her current situation for a woman so gentle
with a heart as big as the world whose trust in God and man was such that she
never doubted that life would only be ultimately good. My heart is breaking with intense grief but I
know that she would never want me doubt.
That is what she has taught me more than anything with her life. She lost her father when she was a child, her
only child, my mother, who was a young mother herself at the time, her grandson, and her husband in
addition to many other friends and family that meant the world to her. Never once did she question the love of God. I know right now, at this moment, she would say to me, “Don’t lose
faith. No matter what, don’t lose
faith.”
June 4, 2018
I lay beside Mike this morning, finally getting a chance to
just talk for a few minutes before we both parted ways for a bit so that we can
tackle different projects. He told me
thank you for everything I did to have the family here this weekend. I told him that nothing makes me happier than
seeing the family enjoying themselves together and creating memories.
Life is hard, but we are given those precious moments in
time that we can cherish and remember while realizing that there are times when
even memories grows frail. In those
moments when the Little People are creating memories and the older generation
is struggling to retain them, those in the middle wonder how to nurture and
protect all the generations. It is Love
that sustains us, giving us strength when we are beyond weary and Faith that
believes that Love is the ultimate victor no matter how things might
appear.