Monday Journal Entry

November 24, 2017

It was another whirlwind trip to Staunton.  I squeezed some time in with Analia and Rory, worked on our booth at The Factory Antique Mall, made a trip to the post office and bank, and made a trip to Goodwill to find me some jeans as the couple pairs of jeans I wear are falling apart.  Alissa had prepared a big meal for us, Gabino’s family and a few of her friends for Wednesday evening.  She did a great job.  The food was delicious.  Thursday (Thanksgiving) I helped a bit with the girls and then started my pies.  I made two apple pies and a large pot of green beans and potatoes to take to Mike’s mom’s for the family get together.  I finished, got the kitchen cleaned up, and showered just in time to get down there.  Mike’s cousin and his girlfriend had arrived from Ohio and it was so good getting to know them.  Carmen and I found out we have a lot in common, having lived/visited some of the same areas out west and having both grown up close to St. Louis.  We also both enjoy hiking and the outdoors and she had spent some time interning on a farm and enjoys agriculture.  It was also good to get better news about Mike’s sister in law.  She has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and the news originally was that she was to have a double lumpectomy.  However. After a biopsy, they have found the one lump benign and will only have to remove the spots in one breast.  We are happy to hear the more positive diagnosis that won’t require as intensive of a surgery and the doctors expect a positive outcome from her treatment.  We were also happy for Mike’s nephew and his fiancé on their engagement that was just announced.  It is nice when life offers the joy to mingle with the hard times and we are happy for Mike’s brother’s family who has been going through a lot of hard times recently that they have this wedding to help to balance out some of the more difficult news that they have been receiving lately.  After we left the meal at the home place, we packed up and headed back to Laurel Fork.  About half way there, a deer decided to complicate our trip a bit.  He ran across Interstate 81 just south of Salem, Virginia and glanced the car in front of us.  I saw him coming between the rear of that car and the front of our car.  It was just a blur and neither of us had a chance to even speak or react when we felt the thud as our car that was traveling 65 to 70 miles an hour came in contact with the deer.  We pulled to the side of the road more to make sure the other couple were ok.   They had pulled over to see what damage had been done to their car and to check on us.  They were a young couple traveling from West Virginia and were very kind.  They didn’t receive more than a scratch and a small dent to the mirror on their car, but the driver’s side of our car was smashed in with the hood crumpled, lights out, and some kind of damage under the hood causing the car to overheat.  There was no fluid leaking but we suspect the fan was unable to cool properly due to the crumpled hood.  DOT personnel was on the scene almost immediately and the gentleman was very kind and helpful.  He waited with us until a state trooper arrived who was also very helpful and kind.  When the tow truck arrived, the driver was also cheerful, kind and helpful. Our insurance agent got on the phone with us on a holiday evening and gave us the information we needed as well.   We were thankful for so many people who could have been grouchy and irritable on a cold, holiday evening when they had to work but instead were considerate of the situation in which we found ourselves.  DOT was unable to locate a rental car with everything being shut down except the place at the airport and they were out of cars.  Not knowing if we would be able to get a car the next day because of the shortage due to the holidays, we called Mike’s nephew and his wife who live about 30 minutes away from where we had the accident.  The graciously came out in the cold, picked us up, loaded a car full of things into their vehicle and then offered us a place to stay for the night or their vehicle to get us the rest of the way home.  After visiting with them a few minutes we opted to go ahead and take them up on borrowing their car and just get on to Laurel Fork.  We were cold and tired when we got in after midnight, but thankful for our safety and all the people who made what could have been a really bad experience flow as smoothly as possible. 

November 25, 2017

Yesterday morning, we spent a good bit of time trying to locate a rental car and there was nothing available for Friday, so we found one for Saturday.  We will make a trip into Roanoke to pick up the rental car and then take Andy and JoAnna’s car back to them in Blacksburg.  That’s not exactly what we had planned for this Saturday but the deer that wrecked our car necessitated a change of plans for our weekend.  We are fortunate that so many people have stepped in and helped to make the whole incident less stressful than it might have otherwise been, so we can’t complain about the inconvenience of having to drive to Roanoke and pick up a car. 

After reserving a car, Mike started working on the barn again and I started taking down fall decorations and putting up Christmas decorations.  I got the lights up on the wrap around porch.  I have never used outdoor lights before but have always wanted to do so.  I just never had the time to put them up and didn’t make it a priority. I try to do simple things now that I have always wanted to do and stop putting them off.  Tomorrow never comes.  We only have today.

 When Mike and I started slowing down about a year ago we started practicing what I like to call “intentional living”.  We were “forced” into a position when Mike had his rotator cuff surgery where we had to step back, slow down, focus on only the most important tasks and let a lot of other things go until he was able to heal.  We found during that time that we had been missing out on a lot of things because we were always “too busy”.  It was during this time after Mike’s surgery that we began applying principals that allowed us to step back, slow down, focus on the most important task and give our souls a time to heal.  Our relationship had suffered over the years as we worked so hard to make the farm a success and as we tried to meet the needs of others (family, friends, neighbors, and clientele).  As Mike’s body healed, we were given the opportunity to make the decision to go back to life as it use to be, or to make wiser choices and stop letting life dictate to us.  Instead we began making intentional choices that helped us slow down, focus on each other, build stronger relationships with those we love and enjoy life rather than endure life.  That’s not to say that we didn’t enjoy life before, but intentional living focuses on breathing in the present.  I think of Mike’s dad and I believe he was one of the most balance human beings I have ever met.  He farmed until the day he died.  In fact, we found him on the ground beside his tractor, in the field, having died of an apparent heart attack while planting corn. Pops, as we called him, was a hard worker and never gave up on the call to farm, which was in his blood, but he passed the reigns down to his sons and then worked along side Mike in a supportive roll until his death.  There was a never a time when Pops was too busy to stop and talk to someone who needed him, whether that was family, friend or stranger.  He had a quiet and gentle way about him and much wisdom.  His light blue eyes would shine when he found something amusing or delightful and they filled with compassion as he recognized the hurts of those he loved.  I didn’t stop to process it or assign a term to the way Pops lived his life, but looking back, I see he was probably one of the best examples of intentional living as he somehow found the balance between achieving his goals and always being in the moment. 

The weather was gorgeous yesterday which was nice for Mike as he worked outside.  It started off really cold at around 20 degrees but warmed up quickly to the high 50’s.  Amidst my decorating, I washed three loads of clothes and hung them on the line to dry.  I enjoy hanging clothes on the line.  I always have.  I remember when I was a kid that was one of my jobs and I always preferred the chores that took me outdoors.  Late afternoon as I was working on the Christmas lights, Mike came down from the barn and said he needed me to come with him to see something at the barn.  I just walked to the barn in my moccasins that I wear around the house but when we got to the barn he said I needed to climb the ladder because what he wanted me to see was on the roof.  I started telling him I was wearing the wrong kind of shoes to be climbing ladders and scaling rooftops, but ended up climbing up without going back to change my shoes.  We climbed onto the lower section that is less than six feet off the ground and from there made our way up the sloped roof until we got to the section where the shed attaches to the barn and we climbed up and onto that roof.  This put us up to the barn on the backside of the loft and we were facing west.  The sun was high enough to shine brightly over the mountain peaks and the metal roof of the shed was reflecting the heat.  Even though it was only about 55 degrees at that time, it felt like summer there on that roof and after I inspected Mike’s work, I sat down there on the rooftop and soaked in some rays.  Mike had taken me to the roof to show me his work on the backside of the barn.  I had honestly thought that section of the barn would probably never get finished once the contractors left and it was not complete.  There are so many other things pulling at us for our time that I thought perhaps Mike would not get to that and it would go undone.  Instead, there it was in front of me, the smell of fresh cut lumber and the boards carefully cut and placed to give the back of the barn a fresh look and add many more years of service for the animals that will be housed and milked there.  I couldn’t have been happier with the November sun warm on my face and dreams and plans taking shape but most of all, feeling close to my husband and loving him. 

November 26, 2017

Yesterday was another gorgeous day, especially for November in the mountains.  It started off cold but warmed up very quickly.  Mike set out right after breakfast to get some more work done on the barn.  I took the opportunity to wash and hang more clothes on the line and then focus on some writing.  Getting back to writing has been a part of my focus on “intentional living”.  Writing is such a big part of me and I had let things like forums and Facebook rob the time that I could have spent writing with more focus.  Looking back, I can see that those hours spent on social media outlets were like eating at McDonalds when I could have been fine dining.  By giving up the “few minutes here and few minutes there” on Facebook or a community forum, I can find the time to journal and write and the writing that I do is more meaningful to me.  I have never intended to give up social media completely forever, but the longer I am away from it, the less desire I have to return. 

Yesterday afternoon we had to drive to Roanoke and pick up a rental car.  We were unable to get one Thursday or Friday but they had one available for us on Saturday.  When we got there, we didn’t have all the insurance information we needed, so we called our agent.  We are so fortunate to have an insurance agent who actually takes his job personally and has old fashioned values towards his clients.  We got that straightened out and then Mike went to get the car while I was to follow in our Nephew’s car that he had loaned to us.  Mike couldn’t find the car in the airport parking lot for a while.  I could see him walking back and forth looking for it.  When he did find it, he called me and said he didn’t have a clue how to start it.  It was a “key-less start” car and rather than a “gear shift” it had a dial for the drive, reverse, neutral, etc.  He sat there for a few minutes until he figured it out and later we had a good laugh about it.  I told him it was like “The Clampett Go to Hollywood” only it was “The Cupps Go to Roanoke”.  The holiday weekend traffic was horrible and when he offered to take me somewhere to eat I declined with “Just get me out of Roanoke and back to Laurel Fork where I belong.”  When we stopped by to drop off our nephew’s car, they asked us to stay and eat Thanksgiving leftovers with them, which we did, and everything was delicious.  We had a great time cutting up and laughing.  We always enjoy being with them so much.  We got home around 9:30 and by the time I washed up and got into my pajamas, Mike was already asleep, so I just went to bed as well. 

November 27, 2017

Yesterday was an incredibly busy day.  We had Mike’s cousin and his girlfriend with us for part of the day.  They did not get away as soon as they had planned and ended up not getting to our place until late afternoon.  Usually, we leave by late afternoon to return to Staunton but we wanted to spend some time with our out of state company.  We had a really good time with them, hiking to “the back forty”, eating a meal at the Crooked Oak Restaurant, and just having some heart to heart talks.  I had only just met Carmen on Thanksgiving but found her to be one of those people with whom meaningful conversation happens early in the relationship and we reached a level of communication that was comfortable for both of us almost immediately.  We ended up not leaving Laurel Fork until after midnight and arriving in Staunton just before 3 am.  I needed to be up and ready to watch the girls at 6 giving me only three hours of sleep.  I’m reminded that fifty-year olds need more sleep than that.  It’s going to be a long day. 

Tom and Jerry ~ A seasonal drink or just a reason to collect vintage glassware

My favorite kitchenware is vintage, fun and functional.  About six months ago I began collecting mostly Pyrex and Fire King glass from the 1940-s through the 1970’s with my favorite pieces being from the 40’s and 50’s.  When we attend auctions, my eyes are always searching out the colorful, functional pieces of glass used by our mothers and grandmothers in their kitchens. I think part of the appeal for me is the fact that dishes are fragile and the fact that they survived use over such a long period of time is some sort of a testament to the women and the kitchens of another era.   We were at an auction when I spied some vintage glassware that was obviously milk glass with the words “Tom and Jerry” written in red in an Old English type print.   I had done enough reading to know that mugs with characters on them (such as the tiger used to advertise Exxon) were more desirable to some collectors. Having grown up in the seventies, I immediately thought of the cat and mouse cartoon duo named Tom and Jerry that I used to watch on television and I mistakenly thought the Tom and Jerry reference somehow connected to the cartoon.   I bid, on a hunch rather than experience, and given my choice of box lots, I chose the rather large box that contained a punch bowl and sixteen mugs. I was excited but didn’t have enough time to do much more than a quick search on the internet and found out that “Tom and Jerry” didn’t have anything to do with the cat and mouse of my childhood, but rather was a type of alcoholic, seasonal drink. The drink itself is a bit labor intensive and from what I have read (I have not tried it) gives a nod to eggnog but is very different in that it is not as thick and "heavy" a drink.  One article I read compared the taste to that of a vanilla sugar cookie (and evidently a non alcoholic version can be made for children and those who don't consume).   The drink was popular enough at one time that competing companies made various versions of the punch bowl sets during the 1940’s and 1950’s.  In fact, after a bit of research, I found that the set I had purchased was neither Pyrex or Fire King, but rather a competing company of that era called McKee.   I wrapped the punch bowl set and stored it away with my Christmas decorations and forgot about it.  Last weekend as I was going through the closet, I unwrapped the glassware and fell in love with it.  Noticing the set was dingy and contained what looked like permanent stains on many of the mugs, I decided to try giving the set a good washing in a solution of bleach water.  (For the record, don’t ever put your vintage glass in the dishwasher.  Over time, this fades and scratches it.)  It didn’t take but a minute or two in the bleach water and the punch bowl set was in almost perfect condition once again, bright white and minus the stains. 

Being fascinated with vintage glass and history, I found this a most interesting research project and the Tom and Jerry punch bowl and mugs a decorative and functional addition to the holiday table.  

For more information on the history of the drink and the punch bowls visit the following links:

About Those Tom and Jerry Bowls

Tom and Jerry Batter and Cocktail Recipe

Origin of Tom and Jerry Drink

A Regional Oddball, Resurrected for the Chilliest of Days ~ An article from the New York Times

Barn Restoration Update

View that captures the back of the shed that is attached to the barn.

This was before we started any restoration.

View that captures the back of the barn after the metal had been removed from the shed.

View of back of the barn from the hill above after the metal was replaced with board 

and batting.  This is "vertical farming" in an area with sometimes

heavy rainfall.  Erosion is a real issue.  The barn had

been neglected for probably thirty years or more.  Part

of the restoration will be to bring in fill dirt and gravel 

to build up the area inside and around the shed especially

on the right corner as viewed from this photo.  Note the barn 

peaking up above has not been restored on this back side yet.  

Front and left side view of barn and metal attached shed. We thought 

about removing the shed for a more pleasing look but since the

barn and grounds must be functional, we decided to keep the attached

shed so that we would have a warm and dry place for the cows when

we have torrential rains, heavy snows and howling winds, a real 

probability in these mountains.

We went over budget AND ran out of lumber on the project

so we decided to finish the outside and the interior ourselves. The

process will be slower but we are determined to live a slower life

here in the mountains of South West Virginia and are enjoying the

process and our part in it.  Yesterday we spent our anniversary

picking up lumber at the saw mill and working on the barn.  

I can't think of a better way to spend our anniversary than together, enjoying

the present and working for the future.

This view shows the board and batting on the side of the

barn in contrast to the picture above showing the same area before it 

was complete.  We have a contractor who is coming out to 

put a new barn roof on the barn, probably in January if weather allows.

To pinch pennies, we are going to patch and paint the attached shed roof.  

T

Monday Journal Entry

November 13, 2017

We drove back to Staunton right after church on Sunday morning.  We had not been in several weeks and I really wanted to go back over to the Presbyterian Church that is relatively close to our house.  It’s funny because six months ago, I was so disheartened and discouraged by folks who meddle, gossip, and stab in the back those with whom they are supposed to love and do it all in the name of the church.  I won’t say that I’m not cautious and that I don’t go into church with my eyes wide open, but I do realize that I have disappointed and hurt others during my lifetime and my presence in church is my time to quiet myself and reflect on God and life and what I need to do for personal growth.  Although I don’t go to church to “feel good”, I do feel a connection with the mostly elderly congregation of about twenty people there.  I WANT to return and that’s what makes the difference.  We are fortunate that although the congregation is very tiny, the guest preachers they have are interesting and informative, all of them so far being highly educated and able to expound upon the history and background of the scriptures they choose to discuss.  Of course, with my personal pacifist leanings and my personal interpretation leading me to follow more of an Anabaptist thought, there are things that I find don’t line up with my interpretations of Scripture and Christ’s example, but I guess I am at a different place in my life where that doesn’t really matter to me.  Well, I shouldn’t say that it doesn’t matter to me, but I am learning that my personal ideals are just that. While I may feel that I am right in some of my choices and beliefs, that doesn’t keep me from being able to live in harmony with others.  Isn’t that in fact the crux of Anabaptist doctrine anyway?  It’s a lot easier to “live in peace” with those who believe exactly as we do.  Where our conscience is tested is in how we react when folks do not believe the same was as we do and especially when those folks are also “Christians”.  Case in point, I do not believe in promoting the military in a church service or even in recognizing the veterans of the military during a church gathering.  I understand why it is done and I grew up in Baptist Churches that proudly displayed the American flag in the front of the church and put their military veterans on a pedestal.  So, I get it.  I understand it.  I lived it for most of my life.  My views, my conscience, my interpretation of following Christ means that I don’t promote the military or nationalism in church especially but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have fellowship, understanding, love those I have chosen to be with on Sunday who might feel otherwise.  Anyway, it was good to see the dear people, get a hug from the kind Mrs. Childress; wave and smile at the West Point graduate, career veteran (as old as my dad) whose winning grin, sparkling eyes, unexpected, politically incorrect comments and Universalist religious background keep us on our toes; and converse with the warmhearted, genuine, kind people who stop to chat.  Mike and I have been disappointed at times over the last few years with “people” but we have also had opportunity to see and know and understand the hearts of various folks with various backgrounds in vastly different settings with different ideals than our own, and have come to realize more than ever that it’s all ok.  When we view each situation as a chance to learn, grow, and expand, we realize that conflicts of interest and opinions are necessary to bring us to maturity. 

When we arrived back in Staunton, we went to both of the Antique Malls where we have our booths.  I had not been over to Verona Antiques since Mike set up our area and he wanted to see if I could tweak it as well as add a few more pieces.  When we got there, his youngest sister and her husband were in our booth and a little later his mom came to check it out.  We managed to work it over a little bit, but the space is very small and limited because we only rented half a booth.  We then went over to The Factory Antique Mall and we were very disappointed in the booth that we share with our partner in the front of the mall.  I had spent so much time re-arranging it and had our small section looking really good, but our friend came in and reworked his section and added a number of shelving units and a lot more merchandise.  The additions made the booth very crowded and the one shelving unit we use to display our items in that front booth had been turned in a different direction which made it not as eye catching to folks as they approach the booth.  Since the booth technically belongs to our friend and he has absolute right to do whatever he wants to do with it, we can’t fault him for doing what he feels is best to sell his merchandise.  I was just disappointed that the atmosphere and carefully planned display that I had worked so hard to achieve was compromised and so quickly after I had done the work.  Our booth in the back of the Factory Antique Mall is solely ours and that one just needed a little tidying up as a few things had been oved around by shoppers.   It was fun to get back to the “madhouse” that is home when we are in Staunton.  The two little granddaughters were so happy to see us.  Analia really missed us having had spent so much time with us the week before.  She told her mommy that she would miss her if she went with us back to Laurel Fork, but she misses us too when we are not there.  Analia shrieked and grabbed my legs and told me she loved and missed me.  Rory immediately tried to stand and walk to me and started crying when I had to walk by her and not pick her up immediately because my arms were full.  It feels really good being a grandma and being loved so much by your grandkids.  Those moments make me thankful that we can give so much of our time to them, even though it does require a lot of sacrifice.  Alissa had to turn in a paper for her MA exam and I had reviewed it and highlighted some potential changes.  We tried to go over that together but the girls were both wanting our attention and finally I took Analia and went to the bedroom with her to get her settled down and in bed.

Monday was a good day.  It was the first time in a couple of weeks that I had felt good and like myself which made things go a lot better.  The girls were both feeling better to with everyone except for Gab and Mike completely over their colds.  Rory seemed really content and only fussed a little.  She also napped really well for me.  Analia was happy to have me as a playmate although she kept asking about the twins.  I know she really misses them on Monday.  They are studying at home with their momma as their teacher instead of going to preschool and I know that Kristin is enjoying being able to spend this time with them before they start kindergarten next year.   After Alissa got home from work Monday, I grabbed a bite for Mike and I of leftovers and then we left to drive back to Laurel Fork.  We only spent about 27 hours in Staunton this week and it was actually a little hard to leave.  Alissa and Gab both looked so tired.  Gab is working extra hours at his job and Alissa has had so much work for school plus her job.  But, we had other things that we needed to attend to and had to make this a short trip to Staunton. 

We got in to Laurel Fork Monday night taking the truck and a trailer so we can pick up some lumber from the saw mill next week.  We got a good night’s sleep and then Mike got up and worked on the barn while I got breakfast and then he went back after we had eaten while I gathered what we needed to make a trip to Georgia.  We left the house around noon and headed to Georgia to spend some time with my grandmother.  It will be a working/business trip as well as a time for us to enjoy being with her.  The visits get harder each time because things change as people age and I think there is a certain amount of grief that comes along with facing those changes.  Still, I am thankful that we get to spend some time with her and it will be good to hug her knowing that each day is precious. 

November 15, 2017

We have slept in three different homes and three different beds in the last three days.  Every time I woke up last night (which was often), I couldn’t remember where I was.  Sunday night we were in Staunton, Monday we were in Laurel Fork, and Tuesday we were in Georgia at my grandmother’s house.  From the time I was a child well into my adult years, anytime I spent the night at my grandparents I always felt a sense of tremendous peace.  It was something tangible that I recognized.  I can remember being stressed and strained and crawling into bed at their house and thinking about how I always felt safe and loved there.  I remember that feeling well but no longer experience it.  Now when I go to my grandma’s house, I feel some stress and sadness and I wake often at night partly because I can hear her stirring, unable to completely settle down, and partly because I know that ultimately now I am responsible for her.  I don’t begrudge the roll that I now play.  She has given so much to me over the years that I can never give back to her enough.  My struggle comes in knowing best how to give back to her.  To those on “the outside” it may seem like an easy choice, but there are so many things to consider, including my respect for her desires that I must somehow balance with her safety and well-being.  My grandparents were always “public figures” in a small-town way.  With my grandpa being a pastor and my grandmother a pastor’s wife who took her roll very seriously, my brother and I and later my two children always had to “share” her with members of the church and community.  My grandparents weren’t perfect but they had hearts of gold and a genuine love for people and their love, dedication and care for other people was about as perfect as any human can be.  Many times, they opened their home to allow others to live with them.  They transported people who had no vehicles.  They shared their food and belongings with those who had less.  They physically cared for others young and old when they were in ill health or unable to care for themselves.  They were the first at the hospital when someone was going to have an operation or had to be admitted for care, even when the closest hospital was a hundred miles away and even when it was the dead of winter in Alaska.  I saw my grandparents leave the care of their own aging parents in the hands of others as they lived out their calling four thousand miles away in Alaska.  I saw them put that distance between themselves and their only child and two grandchildren in order to go where they felt they were being called and serve where they felt they were supposed to serve.  We always knew our grandparents deep love for us and their willingness to do anything they could for us that didn’t keep them from what they felt was their spiritual calling.  In spite of their dedication to the church, hey were able to manage so that we always felt special, loved, and cared for well by them.  I do remember once Alissa got into an argument with a little girl that my grandmother had kept since she was a baby.  The girl was a bit older than Alissa and told her that our grandmother was her Nan too.  Alissa, being only about three or four years old argued with her and said that she was her Nan and not the other little girl’s.  The heated argument was full of passion on both sides.  I eventually had to take Alissa aside and explain to her that while Nan was not blood related to the little girl, in her mind, Nan was her grandmother and we had to share Nan with others.  It was a difficult thing to do at times, sharing our grandparents with so many people in so many ways.  At times we dealt well with sharing and other times not so well.  My difficulty has come more recently with folks who feel that my grandmother is as much “theirs” as she is mine and it was only when I stepped back and remembered that I have shared my grandparents my entire life and that they have not been “just mine” that I began to receive the grace it took to overlook the hurt caused by the uninformed and misguided blunders of those who caused some problems for us because they didn’t understand what we were doing or why we were doing it in regard to my grandmother’s care and well-being.  These folks were the reason I stopped sharing details publicly.  I had been sharing some details on Facebook so that the “family” my grandparents had created for themselves literally across the United States would be able to be supportive and understanding as things changed for my grandma and for all of us.  But some people took what they read, twisted it to their own interpretation, went behind our backs and manipulated the situation by contacting a local church and pastor who went right along with their plan, leaving the family members out and creating a lot of problems for us to try to reverse once we found out what was going on.  The situation was handled, the folks who in their own mind were doing good but caused confusion and distress for my grandmother have backed off, my heart has stopped hurting over the incident, and eight months later I am able to see where I have allowed the whole event to bring growth even though my attitudes due to the hurt and betrayal I felt in the beginning kept me from that growth for a while.  So, here I am eight months later, at my grandma’s house for the third time since that event, trying to find the balance between her physical safety and well-being and her desire to remain independent and at home.  Each time I see her, her ability to think clearly and reason gets more and more difficult for her.  If we had unlimited resourced for her, the answer would be simple.  I would insist on full time assistance but the finances do not allow for that and for her to spend freely and live the way she is used to living.  She understandably does not want to give up her home and come to live with us.  She is unable to drive anymore and unable to manage her own finances which complicates things for her and frustrates her. 

I will admit that the last two times I have been here I have been so stressed and so tense, feeling as if I was on trial with the  church related “family” members my grandparents created for themselves over the years, and feeling like no matter what I did for my grandmother, it wouldn’t please her or those who feel it their duty to involve themselves so deeply in her life.  This time I have come in with the attitude that I am doing the best I can for my grandmother with the limited resources that we have (although we are blessed that those resources are more than what many of our elderly in this country have) and that I am approaching her care with respect and dignity for her abilities that she still has even as those abilities decline.  I come into it this time aware that I can please no one in this particular scenario and that outsiders who feel like they are family, neighbors, friends, church members, extended family members and even my grandmother will not be happy with any choice that I make because they are not able to see the big picture nor or they able to understand the limitations with which I must contend while I try to keep grandma has happy and comfortable as possible.

I come into this knowing that the story line that is being written does not meet anyone’s ideals, including my own or my grandmother’s, and all will be left disappointed and that sometimes the reality of life’s story lines are not fairy tales and do not have the type of happy ending that we are programmed to expect.  Within the confusion of the less than ideal story line of life, there are lessons, moments of clarity, and opportunities for intimacy.  It may not always be exactly what we want, but it is what we have. 

November 19, 2017

We are home.  Home.  I am happy and at peace to be here.

We had a good visit with my grandma.  We stayed four nights and three full days.  I was able to take care of some of the business I needed to attend to for her and the rest of the time we spent just getting her meals and spending time with her.  We took a couple of hours and went to a local auction about five minutes away from her house.  She had at first said she would go with us, but then decided not to go so we made it short and got home early to spend time with her.  We would sit down in the evenings and watch episodes of The Waltons with Nan.  I think she agreed the first time because she was being courteous.  I think she was a little put out to not watch her Gaither DVD, which is her nightly ritual from which she does not deter.  At this point in her life, everything is the same and she likes it that way because when things are different, she gets confused.  She did enjoy The Waltons and at the end of that episode, Olivia sang an old folk song I did not know I asked Nan if she knew it and she got excited and said, “Oh yes!”  Thereafter, we watched The Waltons every evening with Nan and while I know she enjoyed it, I am sure she was happy to get back to her Gaither tapes once we left.  Mike did a lot of yard work for Nan while we were there.  She likes everything to be immaculate.  While I have watched her strive for perfection her entire life, I never realized until recent years how much of that was because she is afraid of what others think.  Even now, she obsesses over her lawn “because of what the neighbors might think” even when a lot of the neighbors obviously don’t care at all and even if they did, would understand that she is an 88-year-old woman unable to do everything for herself.  Sometimes as people age and their mind starts to get weak, the mind begins to focus on certain things and they can’t let go of those thoughts.  Of course, we all do that to some extent, but the things that can become monumental to an elderly person we don’t always understand.  Nan’s yard is extremely important to her.  Her “standing” in the neighborhood (although the neighborhood is just working-class folks, some who don’t care a bit about what their yard looks like) is extremely important to her as is what her yard and home look like.  I also know that she grew up during the World War II era and her generation set very high standards generally speaking.  At any rate, the yard is a constant source of worry for her, in spite of the fact we pay for someone to come in and mow it, trim the bushes and my cousin who is her care giver also is forced into the roll of taking care of the lawn due to my grandmother’s constant fretting about it.  Mike trimmed limbs, chopped up leaves and blew them off the yard, mowed the yard that didn’t need mowed, and trimmed the bushes.  She then wanted him to go and do the neighbor’s yard, because to her, it looked bad and it because it was an extension of her yard, she felt it made her yard look bad as well.  (He didn’t do the neighbor’s yard, of course, but it was a constant source of worry to my grandmother.)  I kept meals on the table for us and my grandmother is used to eating her meals at exactly the same time every day 8am, Noon and 5 pm.  We are not used to eating on a schedule or eating three meals a day but we did so to keep her in her routine and make her happy.  It seemed like just as soon as I got everything prepared and we had eaten and cleaned up, it was time to do it all again.  We had taken beef and some veggies as well as a few canned goods with us.  My grandmother worked a lot outside the home when my mom was a little girl and later she was so involved in church activities and various odd jobs that she mostly relied on processed and quick foods.  As a child being raised either in a homestead setting or on a farm, I thought it tremendous fun to go to Nan’s house (when they lived close to us before moving back to Alaska) because I could eat all those quick processed foods, have snacks I wasn’t allowed at home, eat candy which I was rarely allowed at home and chew gum which I was not allowed to do.  Still, Nan’s favorite is a quick bite from McDonalds or Wendy’s.  She will admit that she would rather eat out than eat at home.  We did go out to eat with her on Friday night.  We met my brother and his wife and my Aunt and Uncle drove in from Ringgold, about 45 minutes away.  It was Mike’s 57^th birthday and I made a homemade carrot cake for him.  We had a nice time visiting.  We said my grandma was the celebrity when we went out to eat.  Folks that knew her kept coming by to give her a hug.  One thing I did with my grandmother was to sit down and begin to write down a few of her “stories” We did not get very far with it, but I hope when I go back in a couple of months that we can get some more of them down on paper.  As she told her stories, she jumped around in time and it was a little bit hard to follow her. I would stop her and ask questions about the time line of events so that I could try to keep it straight.  The last couple of years have been hard for me as I didn’t want to accept my grandmother’s decline, I worried too much about other folks who didn’t understand and were trying to interject their own agenda into our lives, and I wanted to try to “fix” everything for her and make it “right”.  Trips to visit her were filled with stress as I tried to find the perfect solutions for her care and well-being while remaining respectful of her right to be independent.  This trip I went knowing there are no solutions that will make everything all better and the best we can do is take one day at a time and not worry about any outside judgments.  Because of my attitude and my own peace, the trip was a good one.  We had a nice visit, we accomplished things that needed to be accomplished, Nan enjoyed our company and we enjoyed hers and all those things that I can’t make better, I just accepted. 

On our way home, we stopped in Ringgold and had a cup of coffee and a good visit with my Aunt Jane and my Uncle Luke (brother and sister to Momma Helen).  It was so good to be able to sit down and spend time with them.  I had not seen Uncle Luke in a couple of years.  Our trip home was uneventful and we arrived back in Laurel Fork before dark.  Mike went to the barn to work for about an hour and I started laundry, put away our things from the trip, and then fixed us a grilled cheese sandwich for supper.  Since I don’t need to be in Staunton to watch the kids Monday, Mike and I will be able to alter our routine.  We usually head back North on Sunday afternoons but we will be staying through the first of the week and then heading back to Staunton in time for the Thanksgiving meal at the family farm on Thursday.  I am very much looking forward to a few days here in South West Virginia. 

We got ready and went to church this morning.  It was so good to see the smiling faces of new friends and I enjoyed the visiting preacher.  We have heard several of the pastors that rotate and fill in (since the church is without a pastor) but this was the first time this pastor had been there.  He was young and a chaplain at a Presbyterian University.  I enjoyed his sermon, a reminder that even in life’s toughest storms we can continue to have faith that our purpose in life remains as does God’s presence in our lives.  When we got home, I made dinner for us.  The house smelled so good as I fried apples, potatoes, steaks and cooked up some mountain cabbage.  After I got the kitchen cleaned, I took a walk to “the back forty” where I could get a view of Buffalo Mountain from the highest point on our property.  All of the leaves were off the trees.  It had been a couple of weeks since I had a chance to hike.  It was good to walk again.  It was windy and actually pretty cold, especially when I got to the top but I am glad that I went. 

Later in the evening, we noticed a man from down the road was hunting deer on the property across the road from us.  From our sun porch we could see the meadow and there was no evidence of activity from deer, a fact verified when we never heard any shots from the hunter.  However, the scenario struck me as extremely funny.  To the front of our house which faces east, all was still and to the rear of our house, facing west, the deer were active.  We could see the hunter from the front of the house waiting patiently with not even a sighting of deer.  Behind our house from the kitchen window, we watched a graceful doe just a few yards from our home and in a grove of pines making her way carefully but quickly.  She hesitated for a moment and then jumped the fence and went into our pasture, heading for the springs.  She acted as if she was aware of something or someone in the woods behind her and I made mention that there better not be any hunters on our property.  About a minute later we saw more movement when a buck appeared.  He wasted no time jumping the fence into the pasture with nose to the ground following the scent of the doe ahead of him. 

Soul Full Sunday

Writing is like a 'lust,' or like 'scratching when you itch.' Writing comes as a result of a very strong impulse, and when it does come, I, for one, must get it out. 

 ~ C S Lewis

Monday Journal Entry

November 8, 2017

Time flies………….and flies and flies.  Where does it go?

Still feeling somewhat under the weather, I kept things as simple as I could Monday with the girls.  They were both still not feeling the best either.  Rory napped for me some and overall the day went well even though we were all a bit irritable from feeling poorly for over a week.  It felt strange not having the twins and knowing that they will no longer be joining us once a week.  Analia asked about them a lot and I had to explain to her several times why they were no longer coming on Mondays. 

Since we had all been sick, I figured it was a good time to get the soup bones out and make a good, bone broth.  I cooked the bones half the day, pulled a little of the broth off, mixed it with some roast beef I had cooked previously, thickened it and we had that over noodles along with several veggies for supper.  I continued to cook the remaining bones and broth throughout the night for a bone broth that turned out thick like a gelatin once it was cooled.  That’s where the nutrients are and boy do we need to build up our immunities again.  Tuesday, I used the bone broth for a base to make a vegetable soup. 

Tuesday morning was election day and Alissa and I went together so that I could help her with the kids and then I went to the Factory Antique Mall in Verona and pulled our whole booth apart as well as our shelves and display case that we have in our friend’s booth in the front of the store.  There was not an item left untouched as I moved every single piece, attempting to give both areas a new look.  It paid off because today we had great sales on items that I had staged and displayed prominently.  I spent three and a half hours there and still didn’t get quite everything in order but had to come back home to watch the girls so Alissa could go to class.  Mike and I went back over today on our way out of town and spent another half hour finishing up.  I really need to get over there once every two or three weeks and totally rotate the whole booth so as to give it a new look.  It’s just finding the time that’s the hard part.  We were very pleased with our sales today and I’m thankful my hard work payed off. 

The girls have a harder time at night than they do during the day and it was a rough evening Tuesday night.  Rory cried a good bit, probably because of the six molars she is cutting at one time.  She ended up going to sleep for a bit which gave me an opportunity to read to Analia and give her some attention. 

I gathered up multiple boxes of home canned fruit, veggies and pickles from Staunton today and we brought them to Laurel Fork.  I love having a genuine cellar here where I can organize and arrange my canned goods.  I didn’t do a whole lot of canning this past summer with us being in transition but I have been trying to use up some of the older canned goods as well as the older fruit and veggies in the freezer.  We have been blessed with so much excess for so many years that it’s hard to stay ahead of it, especially with the frozen food that will go bad with time.  (The canned goods keep very well for years and it’s not such an issue.)  It was also nice to get a whole section of shelving cleaned off in the basement in Staunton and be able to tell Alissa that she can start organizing her things and putting them on that shelf when she is ready.  We have been “sharing” the “junk room” in the basement while we are in transition.  Her things that don’t have a home yet after their move and my things that are awaiting their new home, or Goodwill, or the landfill are thrown together in one huge mess.  At least we can shut the door and not look at it when we don’t’ want to.  It made me feel good to make some headway in that room today even though it was only a baby step.  I also moved some of our Christmas decorations.  I am leaving the artificial tree there for Alissa as I plan to go back to using a live try for the first time since Josh’s death.  It’s strange but I just couldn’t bring myself to put up a live tree after he died.  I am looking forward to having a real tree once again this year in Laurel Fork, although we will use the artificial tree with the baby proof decorations with Aurora in Staunton for a few more years anyway. 

We had a gift certificate to Olive Garden and made a detour to Roanoke to eat there for supper on our way to Laurel Fork tonight.  (I almost typed “on our way home tonight” and indeed Laurel Fork is now home to us and Staunton just a place we visit even though our time is roughly spent equally between the two places at this point.)    After we had a nice meal, instead of getting on the interstate, we drove across town and got on the Blue Ridge Parkway and took it all the way home.  It takes a little longer due to the fog and the slower speed limits but it’s so nice to not have to deal with the horrible traffic.  There were plenty of deer out and we love the scenery along the parkway.  Never do I travel the parkway without thinking of the people forced to give up their homes so that the parkway could be built.  It’s always bittersweet as I look at the beautiful land and I’m thankful it is preserved for all of us to enjoy but I am saddened for the ones who had it forcefully taken away from them.  It will never seem “fair” to me.  We can take the parkway to within just a few miles from hour home, just past the well-known Mabry Mill.  There we get on Highway 58 to make our way to our little farm.  I am always filled with such peace when we turn into our driveway and our little farmhouse is sitting there waiting for us. 

November 10, 2017

Letting go of “story lines” and expectations are two major points in a book I am reading (for the second time) by Pema Chodron.  Without a huge explanation here in my journal, in my own simple interpretation and application to my own life, I can see how much I have lived my life by the story lines I have created for myself and many of those story lines were based on what I felt were the expectations of others.  Learning to let go of this way of thinking takes practice and I am sure will never be completely unlearned but the awareness brings me much to contemplate.  Within this frame of thought is the idea that when things arise that don’t fit within our neat little story line that we wish to create for ourselves, we are given the opportunity to make a choice to fret, panic, react in fear or some other “negative emotion”.  On the other hand, we are given the opportunity to reject a negative reaction when our lives are turned upside down (or simply don’t go as planned) and see it as an opportunity for growth.  The idea is to look at these situations with a sense of interest, wonder, and an intent to gain wisdom rather than to react with worry, fear or aggression.  We are somehow wired (and often taught from childhood) that we need to be in charge and make things a certain way for ourselves or for those we love.  But life keeps throwing in our path a series of events that wreck our plans and with our “in charge” attitudes we struggle against that. 

Anyway, the readings I mull over from Pema’s book are beneficial to me right now on many levels.  Some of my Little People are further removed from our life and I have to let be what will be, reaching out to try to keep the doors always open with non-judgment and love.  Our children are scattered, Mikey a world away in Thailand, Kristin finding herself in transition with an unclear direction (at least to us) at this point, and Alissa struggling to make it through the last portion of grad school.  The other two Little People are struggling with ever changing schedules and child care providers and parents distracted by work and educational responsibilities.  Then there is the frailty of the sweet, aging mind of a close family member whom I have been trying to manage from a distance with the help of a part time caregiver. 

We do what we can but life has its own surprises and we alone are not the writers of our own stories or the stories of others. 

I’ll just let that hang right there because somewhere in the knowledge and acceptance of life’s transitions, surprises, and difficulties lies the kind of wisdom that makes us better people and the world a better place.

November 11, 2017

The barn saga continues.  As a brief recap, here’s where we are with the barn restoration:  After many months seeking out someone who fit our budget, who would actually show up and work, and who would offer quality labor, we found a contractor.  The work went somewhat slower than what we anticipated and at $85 an hour for the crew, we had to call them off after about four days of labor.  The quality of work was great but needing to save some money so that we could continue with that project and others, we decided to do some of the work ourselves that didn’t require scaffolds or tall ladders.  We also had run out of materials, the estimate by the contractor being short on what we actually needed to finish the job.  Between the rains and inclement weather, Mike has been able to locate some lumber that had been discounted for some knots and rough spots to work on the shed that is attached to the barn.  He also was able to order some more of the lumber that is needed from the saw mill and they are sawing it out early next week.  He has been plugging along by himself and while it’s a slow process, he is making progress and what he has done looks good.  In the meantime, we have been waiting for the handyman whom we met when our new gutters on the house were installed who has been struggling with his schedule and the weather to pain the barn roof.  Waiting on him (and the weather) has given Mike and I too much time to struggle with our decision to patch and pain the existing roof rather than replace it.  From the beginning, I have said it would be best to replace it, but being aware of the expense, I was willing to go with a patch and paint job to get us through for a while.  Mike decided to treat and primer the rust spots on a section that was easy to reach where the roof drops down to almost ground level and then pain that small section to see how it would do.  Within a week, the rust had already “bled” through and neither of us were happy with the results.  As all of this has been taking place over the last several months, Mike has been playing phone tag with a contractor who finally made it out this week to take a look at the barn roof and give Mike a bid to replace it.  While the expense is one we would like to avoid, we are on the schedule for him to replace the roof but that probably won’t happen until January.  We are only going to replace the roof on the main barn, opting to patch and paint the roof on the shed that attaches to the back side of the structure. 

Mike was working on the barn yesterday and I was cleaning house when our friend from South Carolina (with whom we dabble in antiques) texted and said he was in the area and would stop by for a bit to pick up some items we had been storing for him.  He decided to stick around for the day and we had a long lunch at the Crooked Oak Restaurant where our favorite waitress was off for the day but happened by and gave us a hug while she was there.  That evening we drove to an estate auction about an hour away in North Carolina.  The place was packed and Mike and I never even bid on anything.  The estate did not hold anything of real value in my opinion except for the musical instruments that were being sold.  I know nothing about the value of musical instruments but several of the pieces sold for significant amounts of money.  The top selling item was a “Student Sized Gibson Guitar Model LG-0” that sold for almost $2000.  The selling of the musical instruments was interesting.

We have had some days that felt like fall but last night was the first time it felt like winter.  The temps were to drop down into the teens here in the mountains and knowing the temperature would be dropping, I wore my winter clothes, and boots (up to this point I have been braving the chilly fall weather with my sandals, as I tend to not put them away until I absolutely have to).  I also took along with me a thick lap quilt.  I have been to enough auctions now to know that a few items of personal comfort can make a big difference for a long auction. 

Above the lights of Mt. Airy as we passed on Interstate 77, I noticed the clear sky and the bright stars on our way home and when we got home away from the city lights and interstate traffic, I took a moment to look up and take in the beauty.  Unlike Staunton where our farm is surrounded by dozens of other homes, there were no other homes visible and no porch lights or street lights to compete with the light of the stars so far above my head.  I’ve always been thankful for our home in Staunton and all the blessings that it offered us, and as I have mentioned previously in my journal, I initially fought the impending changes that started taking place in our life not quite five years ago when Mike’s dad passed away.  When I stopped “kicking and screaming” and began to lean into those changes I discovered a life even better than what I was trying to hold onto.  I had been holding on to the story line that I had created for myself that included living out the rest of my life working the land that had belonged to my husband’s family for three generations.  I didn’t want to let that go because I had made it my identity taking comfort in the idea of roots and permanence.  When I finally let go of my own story line and began to lean into the changes that life was bringing us, it allowed Mike and I to truly become partners on this new path which has brought us a tremendous amount of peace and joy. 

November 12, 2017

We got up early yesterday and went to one of our “stand by” auction houses.  I had a feeling that we would not find much to resale at this particular sale so I took along a book and ended up reading it most of the time.  Mike was able to socialize for a while and then we left before the event was finished.  We came straight home and I headed to the kitchen.  I had thawed three pounds of our grass fed/grass finished ground beef and I divided it and made two meat loaves, one to eat for supper and the other to take back with us to Staunton for a meal with the kids/grandkids.  I had onions and peppers from our garden for the meatloaf as well as my homemade ketchup to bake on top.  We also had enough lettuce and tomatoes from the garden for a fresh salad.  I baked a rather large butternut squash and we ate part of it and will take the rest back to Staunton with us for a meal there.  I was a little disappointed when I went to the cellar and found that some of my apples I had in storage were already starting to go bad.  (It seems that no matter what, one can’t find an apple that will keep for long periods of time anymore.)  I am experimenting with different varieties that we like to see which ones keep better long term.  The Granny Smith and the Pink Ladies seem to be holding up ok at this time.  I didn’t have but one of them that needed to be culled.  However, the Rome and the Stamen Apples had a good number of them that needed to be culled.  I had to throw a few away but the rest I was able to cut the bad spots out and use at least some of them.  Since I had the oven on anyway, I just sliced them, added a little brown sugar and cinnamon and baked them covered until they were tender.  Once we had our supper, I got the dishes clean, and I called my Grandma, then we went to work pricing some items we had pulled to stock our booths at the antique malls.  (We recently added a booth at a new location in Verona.)  This past summer I had purchased a “Tom and Jerry” serving set and I pulled that out of the closet where I had it packed and stored.  I really struggled with letting this piece go because I love 1940-1950’s era, functional, glassware so much.  However, I try to be practical and the truth is, most of the year it would be stored away and I might use it once a year if even that.  I have loved researching this particular item and I love the simple but festive look it lends for the holidays.  The milk glass cups were very stained around the rims in some instances and the set just didn’t look as bright and pristine as some I had seen when I researched, I decided to put all 16 cups and the large punch bowl in a heavy solution of bleach water and let them soak for a few minutes.  I really thought the stains were permanent and that it would reduce the value of the set but once I got them cleaned up, they looked like they had just arrived from the factory in 1940.  I was so excited that my little bit of extra work paid off and it made it even harder for me to put that price tag on the set.  I can’t say I will be disappointed if the set doesn’t sell this year.  Another really cool item I had bought back in the summer and tucked away was a set of handcrafted straw and burlap reindeer made with glass eyes.  This set is unique and beautiful and one that I had originally purchased thinking I would keep it for myself.  However, I am attempting to keep things simple and it’s an item that I feel lends itself to making our booth appealing for the holidays, so I have decided to let it go.  I think part of dabbling in antiques and making it work is being happy with finding things that make other people happy, help them remember the past, or helping them learn about the history behind an item.  Being able to look at something, know someone else will enjoy it, and then letting it pass through our hands rather than hoarding it up for ourselves is the best all the way around.  Enjoying things for the moment and then letting go.  That fits in perfectly with the life lessons that I have been practicing recently. 

Monday Journal Entry

November 1, 2017

It’s Wednesday morning and we are in Staunton.  We hope to leave for Laurel Fork this afternoon when Analia is finished with her dance lessons. We are taking Analia with us for the rest of the week since Alissa has a presentation in Washington DC to attend this weekend.  I have looked forward to having her with us there and doing some fun things one on one with her.  However, she and I both (as well as Mike and the rest of the family) are all struggling with viral infections.  The whole family has come down with congestion, sore throats, runny noses and low-grade fevers.  In addition, some of the family is struggling with a stomach virus that is hanging on.  I didn’t have the kids last night like I normally do on Tuesday evenings because they did not have classes at James Madison University and Alissa was home.  However, instead of doing anything on my list of things to accomplish while in Staunton, I was in bed with a fever.  I did make it out to the barn yesterday morning to assist the farrier with pedicures for the two miniature horses and after she left, I cleaned up a bit in the barn yard in anticipation of winter that will be here before we know it.  I spent several hours out there and then came inside and swept and mopped the downstairs.  Other than getting supper for everyone, I just slept the rest of the day waking long enough to realize I still had a fever and then going back to sleep. 

Monday I kept Analia and Rory.  The twins were scheduled to come as well but I let Kristin know that we were sick so that she had the option of keeping them away if she didn’t want them exposed to the germs.  She chose to keep them home and now I am glad she did.  Hopefully they will not be exposed anywhere else and be able to avoid this particular virus.  Watching the kids, picking up the house, doing laundry and fixing supper were about all I managed to accomplish on Monday.  I was disappointed that we were not feeling well and that the twins were unable to come because it was to be their “last day”.  I have been watching them since they were infants starting out with three days one week and four days the next.  Over time, we have cut back and they started going to preschool three days a week and their other grandma’s house one day a week which left us only with Mondays.  We knew that when they started to school next fall, our babysitting days would be finished for the twins but things have changed for their family with Kristin’s recent resignation at her job and she will be staying home with the kids now until they begin school in the fall.  Their family is going through a lot of transition as their daddy finishes up his college degree in December.  They are looking to move when he finds a new job.  I am not going to pretend that keeping three infants, babies, toddlers and then preschoolers exactly the same age (making it as if I were keeping triplets) has been easy.  It has been challenging and many days I have finished by wondering if I could even continue without assistance.  I knew though that I would always be glad that I did it and that I had the time with the children while they were so small.  I am very thankful and this time of transition for all of us is bittersweet.  Mondays will be a little bit easier on me having only two instead of four to keep, but as the twins and their family move on in a different direction, we will miss so much of their lives, and for that, I am sad. 

November 4, 2017

It has been a long week.  Mike and I are rarely truly sick.  I think in the 13 years that we have been together, we may have been to the doctor two or three times a piece to get antibiotics.  We usually average a “bad” cold once every two or three years, and while we both have bouts with digestive issues due to “eating the wrong things”, a stomach virus is even more rare for us.  But, this is our winter to get it all I guess.  The whole family has been hit pretty hard with first the stomach virus that lingers and/or returns and then a nasty cold/sinus infection with lingering congestion and fevers.  I limped through the first of the week with the kids and then we took Analia and headed south on Wednesday.  Our time this week at our South West Virginia home has been spent mostly just trying to have the energy to hold our heads up and go through the basic routine of the day, especially Wednesday and Thursday.  Yesterday we felt a little better, Mike and I both getting past the fevers.  Analia is really congested but seems to feel pretty well now, her only real difficulty being the residual cough that wakes her up throughout the night.  As a result, we have not made any great accomplishments with the tasks at hand at our property.  I have spent a good bit of time trying to read books aloud to Analia with a voice that fades away after the first two pages thus resorting to squeaks or whispers to finish the task.  Analia doesn’t mind.  She loves books.  I have a pile of Little Golden Books here that she has never read and she would sit for hours reading them if I could manage to keep going.  I also have some vintage playschool wooden blocks (the kind that are in various shapes with no paint, just the basic color of the wood).  She has had more fun building with those blocks.  She has played with them so much, that I have not made her even pick them up at night.  It has just been an ongoing building project.  We did finally venture out to get a few groceries on Thursday afternoon, although we must have been a sight.  I grabbed a box of Kleenex and opened it before getting to the check out and we loaded up on decongestants.  Friday we took a drive about 30 minutes away to pay our bill for some of the lumber and supplies we had gotten on credit for the barn.  We stopped along the way at a little place that had antiques, uniques and collectibles for sale.  The lady was really nice.  It was just a little shed type building next to her house that she had turned into an overflow for her collections and she didn’t seem to care whether she sold anything or not.  She was so kind to Analia and told her how she really liked her glasses and then she gave her a small “toy” that was actually some kind of “Redneck” Christmas gag gift type item with a reindeer that had a roll of toilet paper on its antlers and sings a song about not forgetting to flush the toilet.  No matter, Analia thought it was great and played the thing nonstop in the car on the way home.  We also went to the post office to check on the situation with our mail.  Like most everything else here in rural Virginia, it has taken great effort just to try to get on the mail route.  I have made multiple trips to the post office.  There’s a really nice young lady that runs the post office and it is only open a few hours each day in the mornings.  She knows me when I walk in the door and she looked at me yesterday and said “I know what’s going on” but after pushing the issue and not letting her off the hook (which I did very kindly but firmly) she finally realized that they had been holding our mail and that our mail was coming to their post office and not another as she had been insisting.  (Our home is close enough to the dividing line that we had to fill out paperwork to request that the mail route be extended to take us in.  Evidently, no one has received mail at this address for so many years, that the home was no longer on the route and now requires the post master to sign off on the paperwork in order for us to be put back on the rural route.  Both the mail carrier and the lady in the post office are insisting that they have never delivered mail to our house, but we have in face received mail in our box previously though nothing recently.  After they found the mail that was being held at the post office, it was evident that the mail WAS coming to their post office and the only explanation she could come up with for the few pieces that had made their way to our rural box was that the weekend carrier must have delivered them not knowing that they were not allowed to deliver mail to us until the post master signs off on the extension papers.)  I just have to laugh even though it’s frustrating and go pick up the mail at the post office (now that we know where it is) until we can finally get through the paperwork to add us to the rural mail route.  I’m sure that paper is sitting on someone’s desk somewhere because it should have been approved months ago.  Given a choice, I will take slipping through the cracks in rural Virginia over the somewhat more efficient but congested areas of our state. 

There was a lot done to the barn this week while we were away and Mike is pleased with the quality of the work.  What has been done looks really good.  The men ran out of materials and the allotted time that Mike had agreed for them to work had lapsed.  We have one side with a track for sliding doors that will allow the cattle to enter the shed portion that has to be upgraded.  We are not sure exactly what is to be done there.  Mike doesn’t want the expense of having to take down the tracking, remove all the metal, replace it with board and batting, reinstall the tracking and install new sliding doors.  I have not said much, but, I would like it to be done right so the whole barn is finished and looks good.  At this point, we have so many other areas to concentrate on that we will just wait it out and see what we decide for that back section on the shed that attaches to the barn.  On the other side of the barn is an area that was not previously enclosed that was used as a loading area and is also where the four, large stall entrances are located. The men did the structural improvements to that area but ran out of boards to enclose it.  That is something that Mike can finish with time and material.  We are still trying to get someone to patch and paint the existing roof or replace it.  It really doesn’t look like that is going to happen before winter sets in.  We just can’t get anyone to follow through.  We have a lot of clean up and restoration to do inside the barn as well, but we can work on that during the winter.  We didn’t get much done in the barn area this week with our all being so sick.  Analia and I went out one day when the weather was really nice and picked up some of the ends and pieces that the workers had cut and thrown down.  We put the “trash” pieces on the brush pile and stacked the pieces that could be salvaged for other uses.  Analia was so cute to watch.  She was very eager to work and you could tell she felt very accomplished at being able to be a part of the process. 

One evening, one of our neighbors stopped by and even though Mike told her we were sick and probably very contagious, she opted to come inside and visit anyway.  She had gotten produce from the roadside honor system we had set up earlier in the year and said she was so happy that we were here.  She was very nice, a transplant from Maryland, but has lived here over 30 years.  She said she had family in the area and was at a point where she needed a change and ended up making this her home.  There are few people that I feel immediately comfortable with, but I felt relaxed with this woman.  I’m guessing she is probably seven to ten years older than me, but not one to try to conceal her age and obviously being accustomed to work and honest living, she may not be as old as I think she is.  After we talked just a few minutes, I found out that she worked with the breeding program for a large dairy that is now out of business.   I figured I would be here for a long time and not be able to find anyone who could artificially inseminate my cows for me (as I don’t intend to keep a bull once we move the cows to our SW Virginia property).  This lady lives five minutes from me and enjoys breeding cattle and seems like she would be happy to work with us.  I also found out that she had spent some time on horseback in portions of Montana where I lived and spent time hiking.  Talk came around to bears and she told us that just this year she had a momma bear rip the screen door off their house to get inside the porch.  She assumes it was because she had left some peppermint candy there and perhaps the bear smelled it.  She said they have not had any trouble with the bear since.  We talked about my bear encounters in Alaska and I told her about the time that we were out camping and I had the sensation of large animal sniffing around the outside of the tent as we slept.  ( I have always described it as the feeling of waking to a dog sniffing the top of your head but realizing it was something much bigger and the only thing separating me from that animal was a vinyl tent.)  Later during the day, while we were out in the boat fishing, a large bear came into camp and tore it up.  We immediately set to move camp only to have the bear return before we were finished tearing everything down.  There was a standoff between the two men in our party who both had weapons but the bear finally moved on down the path long enough for us to get the rest of our things and get out of there.  If I only hadn’t felt so bad I would have enjoyed visiting a lot more as my first impression of the neighbor is that we will get along just fine and share a lot of the same interests.

November 5, 2017

Rain moved in yesterday and there wasn’t anything we could do outside on the barn or grounds.  Analia had been asking us to go to an auction.  She remembers going to the Shenandoah Valley Produce Auctions with us previous summers and we did not take her this past summer.  (Mike went a couple of times, but I never attended this year since we were not buying or selling our own produce this past season on a grand scale.)  Analia was just a very small baby when we began taking her to the produce auction.  We told her that this would be different but she didn’t really know what to expect.  I took along some snacks for her and she entertained herself pretty well for a while but did grow bored before it was over.  She didn’t understand the concept of bidding and no matter how I tried to explain it, couldn’t get it through her head that you couldn’t just pick something up and pay a set price for it and walk out the door.  There was a large pony swing that she really liked made out of rubber (looked like a version of a tire swing) and Mike bid on that and got it for her.  When we returned to the house, someone had put a large, pictorial book about horses inside the screen door.  There was no note or explanation but I assumed it was the lady who had stopped by and visited the other day.  When she found out that Analia liked horses, she had told us about owning horses and about some of her experiences with horses.   I sat down for a bit with Analia to look at the book and then I told her she needed to play by herself while I picked up the house.  We had not slept well the previous night but had fallen back to sleep, making us late to leave for the auction.  I had left the house in a mess and wanted to pick it up.  There was a lot more book reading and block building before the night was over.  Alissa texted me and said that Rory was very discontent and crying a lot.  She is cutting more teeth and still has the nasty congestion.  She is also working hard with developmental advancements which I am convinced makes a child cranky.  She will be eight months old on the 22^nd.  She has said “Momma and DaDa” for a while now but has added “bye bye” to her vocabulary in the last two days.  She has been pulling up and standing for a while now, and most recently balancing alone.  Alissa said she took several steps yesterday.  Alissa was also seven months old when she took her first steps and at nine months of age was walking anywhere she wanted to walk.  I think Rory wants to “get up and go” so badly that it makes her frustrated and cranky sometimes.  When she does accomplish a goal, she is so funny as she will smile and laugh at herself.  Alissa said she is exhausted because Rory has cried so much and been so discontented.  I told her that’s the way it is for me every Monday and Tuesday when I watch the girls.  I just wear myself out trying to keep Rory content but she is not a content baby at all.  My theory is that she is always pushing for the next developmental step, goal oriented, and mentally active.  Alissa was the same way, a very discontented baby who stopped crying so much when she learned to walk, taking her first steps also at seven months.  I am hoping once the teeth are through and she has her legs under her, Rory will be content for longer periods of time.

November 6, 2017

We got back to Staunton early enough that Analia could spend time with her parents knowing they would both be working and away from home on Monday.  The reunion between Rory and Analia after four days apart was just precious.  Rory immediately reached out for Analia and couldn’t contain her excitement at being with her big sissy again.  I helped Mike price some items for a new booth at a new venue for our antiques and vintage items.  He is not very happy that he will have to set up the booth by himself.  The place is closed on Tuesday and Wednesday and those are the only two days I am available to help since I have the kids for 9 hours on Monday.  I told him we could take the kids or he could watch them and I would do it, but I don’t think he thought too much of that idea and will probably try it himself.  Alissa had stripped the sheets from our bed, knowing we had been so sick and wanting to make sure everything was clean.  I put the sheets back on the bed and put the few things we had brought back from SW Virginia with us away in our room.  After calling grandma and washing my face, I settled in with a mountain of paperwork from the Antique Mall to sort, record and send to our partner. 

We have a lot to get done this week before we head back to SW Virginia.