Monday Journals

April 25, 2018

The decision to keep my newly freshened cows separated and close to the milking parlor has always worked out well for me and prevents a lot of stress on my part.  My Jersey girls seem to know the routine and don’t mind being in for a few days.  Keeping them close gives me opportunity to check on them frequently as well as keeps them eager to come in to be milked.  When left out in the field with a newborn calf, they often don’t want to leave the calf to come in for the first few days but keeping them together, close, means most often the momma cow will simply walk right in knowing her baby is close by and safe.  Keeping them in the shelters (within a holding area with access to outdoors as well)  for a few days also keeps the babies safe from any type of predator and from accidentally slipping under a fence and getting separated from momma during the critical first few days of life.  And finally, if the cow ends up having milk fever, it means I can care for them more conveniently than out in the field somewhere.  I have several older cows now that have been around long enough to have reoccurring issues with milk fever and we can just expect it.  Promise is one of those cows.  Last year, she went down after calving and it took about a week to get her back on her feet again.  I was prepared mentally to deal with it this year and had all my supplies on hand, which is pretty much a first for me.  I usually have what I need or know where I can get it, but don’t have it gathered up and ready.  I have a feeling when we move to Laurel Fork, it will be impossible to get a bovine experienced vet that will respond in a timely manner to an emergency and I have begun to prepare myself for that fact.  I use to watch Pops, Mike’s dad, treat my cows for milk fever.  I loved that man.  Never did he tell me he was too busy when I needed him and on more than one occasion his expertise as a retired dairy farmer saved one of my animals.  Mike had watched his dad treat the cows for Milk Fever all his life but didn’t have the confidence to administer the fluids needed intravenously until we started having situations where we couldn’t get a vet out fast enough and he tried it due to my desperation.  With Promise having a history of Milk Fever, I watched her fervently on Monday.  I could see her from the kitchen window and she appeared to be ok.  I didn’t want to drag the Little Girls out every few minutes to check on her.  We did go out once because I wanted to show them the calf.  Both girls were so cute when they saw the baby.  Rory reached out with her arms and wiggled her fingers in a motion that said “come to me baby calf” as she laughed softly.  Analia kept exclaiming, “Awww…..she’s so cute, Tita.  She’s so cute.”  Promise seemed fine and we went back to play in the yard a few minutes before going inside.  I asked Gabino to come home right after he got off work at 6 knowing I needed to milk Promise.  I wasn’t wanting to have to take both girls out with me to try to milk and I knew Mike was going to be tied up at his mom’s place until late as he was planting garden, putting fertilizer on the fields, feeding cattle, and selling hay to our “regulars”.  I’m so glad that I had Gab come straight home for when I made it outside around 7 pm, I found Promise looking a little shaky.  Her ears were not completely down but she looked slightly unsteady on her feet and when I touched her ears, they were cold.  These are signs of milk fever, a condition that occurs when a newly freshened cow becomes low on calcium and their body starts shutting down on them.  Many times one does not see the condition until the cow is out flat on her side.  If it progresses to that point, it is not unusual for the cow to not be able to get up on her own for a while and sometimes, the cow even dies.  Catching Promise in the early stages gave us opportunity to act quickly and keep her from having complications.  We started with a tube of Calcium paste but she reacted with drama as a Jersey will often do and flopped herself out on her side.  At this point, Mike took a rope attached to the halter we had put on her and tied it to her rear feet, wrapping it around her ankles.  This position keeps the cow from rising and exposes the vein for the needle to be inserted to start the process of administering the fluids.  Promise didn’t fight us much even though she was still alert.  We administered two bottles of fluid and finished giving her the calcium paste orally.  She was being stubborn and didn’t want to get up when we finished but Mike got her up pretty quickly and she did fine.  I ended up not milking her on Monday evening due to her low calcium levels.  Tuesday, I watched her carefully but she seemed to be doing well.  Her appetite had returned and she was happy to eat all the hay I gave her.  She came willingly into the parlor and rather than hook up the milking machine, I just milked her by hand.  I didn’t want to take too much milk out of her udder because of her calcium issues.  I took about half a gallon of colostrum from all four teats.  It appeared the calf had sucked from all four quarters, although I can’t be certain.  A lot of calves when they are younger will pick a favorite teat and stick with that one, moving on to two teats when they get big enough to need more milk.  This leaves the other quarters prone to mastitis unless the farmer is milking the cow daily.  Since I want to share milk with the calf and not push for production as well as be able to reach a point, due to our frequent trips back and forth to Laurel Fork right now, where I can leave the cow to do all my milking for me and separate the calf for a few hours before I take milk for our personal use, it is better if the calf is nursing all four quarters.  Promise was perfect in the stanchion.  I wouldn’t expect anything any different.  (Unlike Princess who has always had attitude until she gets back into the routine.)  I took the colostrum into the house and put it in baggies in the freezer, labeling it clearly to differentiate it from the human breast milk in the freezer for the human baby.  I proceeded to keep a close eye on Promise and had Mike check her once again before bed time assuring me that all was well.   

I had tried to start supper before going out with the cows on Monday evening, but by the time I got back in the house and got it finished up, it was after nine.  Gabino had fallen asleep in the chair as had Analia and everyone who remained awake was pretty tired and irritable.  It had been a long day.  I was feeling a lot of stress about my grandmother, who had taken a serious fall on Sunday evening and had been taken to the emergency room.  The doctors determined that she was going to need a metal plate put in her ankle where she had broken it in several places.  She had to wait most of the day Monday before they took her to surgery.  When she got back from surgery she was very distraught and disoriented.  The nurses called my brother, who had been with her the night before as well as all day on Monday to see if he could get her to calm down.  She was insisting that someone had taken her away from the hospital and she didn’t know where she was.  I called her around 10 pm and tried to get her to calm down but she just kept saying that I didn’t understand and that she was in a horrible situation.  I assured her that the nurses were taking good care of her and tried to get her to rest.  I talked to her nurse a good bit before hanging up the phone and called again first thing Tuesday morning.  A different nurse was on duty and said that grandma had screamed most of the night. She had been trying to get out of bed and to take her IV’s out.   Jimmy went down first thing Tuesday morning to sit with her and she began to feel better about the situation and became more aware that she was indeed in the hospital.  The doctor came in and talked to them and said that Nan was going to have to stay off her foot for six weeks, would need therapy during that time to keep her from losing muscle in her leg, and then after six weeks would need additional therapy as she started getting back on her feet.  He said the were moving her to a nursing home for two months so that she can get the care and the help she needs.  We were fortunate to get her accepted at the nursing home where a cousin of mine works and the home is a lot nicer than the one that is closer to her home in Summerville.  She may even get a private room.  Grandma was comfortable with the plan to get her help and when asked what her goals were, she said she wanted to be able to walk again, unassisted.  The representative from the nursing home asked her about using a cane or walker and Nan told her that she had never used one before and was going to try to get well enough that she didn’t need to use one when she got out.  Nan had a much better day and after my brother left, my cousin who stays with Nan four days a week came and sat with her.  When I called Nan last night, she was mentally aware of where she was and why and was very positive about going to the nursing home and receiving rehabilitation.  Jimmy and I have plans to install some handicap railing at the house, work on the back steps to make them safer, remove any tripping hazards (like throw rugs) from her home and make it as safe as possible before she returns.  We have been working with the VA about some funding for her care and I am hoping at some point in the future we can get the assistance needed to get an additional person in to help look after her so that we can keep her at home as long as possible.  She has made it clear time and again that she wants to be at her home and we hope that we can grant her wishes as long as we can keep her in a safe environment.  Because of the nature of the injury, adult protective services is on board with us and I am thankful for that.  I know a lot of people feel threatened by their involvement but their commitment to grandma’s safety gives us more leverage with her to insist that she follow the programs designed to keep her safe.  I wrote a blog post last year encouraging folks in ways they could tactfully assist the elderly.   Having had a really bad experience with some people who thought they were helping my grandmother but ended up making things more difficult, creating a situation where secretive actions actually delayed intervention by the family, I felt some things needed to be said.  In that post, I suggested that if anyone felt an elderly person was being neglected, abused, or needed additional assistance that wouldn’t be proper for outsiders to provide, and they were unable or uncomfortable talking to the family, then they should contact adult protective services.  I stand by that even more after this incident with grandma.  It takes community to properly care for our elderly and we are blessed beyond measure that we have a supportive community of folks who care about Nan when so many elderly people do not have such.  Monday was extremely stressful as I worried about Nan and fretted that I could not hit the road and be with her at this time.  With Alissa so close to finishing up her degree, cows calving, and all we have going on in Staunton, I need to be able to stay in Virginia.  Tuesday, with Nan feeling better and understanding more about what was happening to her and with a plan in place for her best possible care, I began to feel a sense of peace and even a relief that she will be well monitored for the next two months.  I also feel relief that we can step in and do some things at the house without her there feeling like we are taking over and stepping on her toes.  By the time she gets home, it will be done, and there can be no arguing about it. 

April 26, 2018

The past couple weeks have been more stressful than any we have had in a good while.  In many ways, I have isolated myself from outside stress over the past year, content to live in a “small” world of our making.  Being someone who feels deeply the pain of others and someone who would love to be able to “right the wrongs” of the world, I finally reached a point where I just reached the point where I needed to isolate myself for a while after experiencing some things that really tore at my heart in 2016 -2017.  My intentional “tuning out” of much of what is taking place in the world on a national and global level, my nine-month hiatus from Facebook, and my streamlining my focus on those friends that are closest to me and building on those relationships as well as the relationship I have with my family has given me time for my heart to heal.  We know that things can change in a moment and we can go from feeling a peaceful, centered life to stress and chaos so quickly.  This past week feels like that for me but I am thankful that in spite of the stress, I can see so many good things that have taken place. 

This week we are needed in Staunton but we felt that we had to drive to Laurel Fork to take care of some things there and just make it a brief trip this week.  We managed to get away around 2 pm on Wednesday.  I was feeling accomplished as I answered messages, made phone calls, and took care of some business enroute.  Early on we began seeing signs about a wreck and the fact that Interstate 81 was completely shut down in the southbound lanes.  Traffic was thick and kept getting worse but Mike thought he could get one more exit and then get off 81 onto a secondary road to get around the accident.  Unfortunately, he waited one exit too many and we ended up at a standstill.  We heard something and Mike said, “What was that.”  I said, “I don’t know but it came from our car.”   Then we heard it again and about the same time smoke started coming from under the hood.  We both looked at the temperature gauge on the care and it was buried.  I was quickly and frantically telling him he needed to get off the road and turn the car off at the same time he was trying to get off the road and turn the car off.  Multiple semi-trucks were on the side of the road and we had to squeeze between a couple of them.  To our left, on the interstate, the vehicles just sat there, maybe inching forward just a bit from time to time.  Mike said, “Now what are we going to do?”  To which I responded, “I don’t know but we can’t go anywhere anyway so I guess we sit here and let the car cool down.”  Every few minutes Mike would say, “Now what are we going to do.”  I would respond, “I don’t know.  Just sit here, I guess.”  After about 15 minutes of this we decided we better try to formulate some sort of plan.  We could see the exit up above and although it wasn’t far, there was no way we could reach it.  The Interstate was blocked with traffic that wasn’t moving and we were hemmed in by the cars on the Interstate and sandwiched between two semis.  If we could manage to get out and around the semi we still couldn’t use the roadside to approach the exit because there were more semis in front of us along the route.  Mike and I discussed the fact that if we called a tow truck, it wouldn’t even be able to get to us and the fact that the traffic wasn’t going to clear for hours.  The thought of sitting there for hours just about did me in.  I had been so stressed all week and just wanted to get to Laurel Fork and my quiet home and destress for 48 hours before heading back to the rat race in Staunton.  I wanted to scream.  I wanted to cry.  Instead, I tried to think of a logical solution.  Mike mentioned the place that worked on our car after we hit the deer.  It wasn’t too far away from where we were but by now, we were within an hour of closing time and we had no clue how we could get our car to them.  Mike said, “Call them.”  I wanted to snap at him and say, “You call them!” because I had no clue what to do once I got them on the phone.  They couldn’t help us get the car off the side of the interstate and I doubted they would fit us in even if we were able to get the car to them.  And what was I supposed to say, “Hey, I’m stuck on the interstate and need you to fix my car but there’s no way I can get my car to you or you can get to my car.”  I didn’t snap at Mike even though I was really unhappy about being put in the position to call them.  When I called and talked to Kevin, he was super nice and said if we could find a way to get the car to him, he would see what he could do.  We knew the fans were not running and this was why the car was overheating.  He suggested if we could get the car cooled down and then keep it moving, it would probably make it.  So, now we had a plan, but we were not sure how to implement the plan.  The car cooled, the traffic was moving slowly, so we crossed our fingers, said a prayer and got back on the interstate.  We moved a few feet and then everyone stopped.  The car started heating up and I started telling Mike to turn off the car but he was already doing that.  Then, a we sat there in the unmoving traffic, a semi came creeping up beside us along the right side, blocking us from being able to get off the road.  This is when I started freaking and saying “No, no, no.  Don’t park there.  We can’t get off the interstate now.”  So there we sat completely blocked in.  As we sat and I stewed, a DOT truck came up behind us and started going from truck to truck and telling the drivers sitting along side of the road that they needed to merge back into the traffic and get off the side of the road and leave it open for emergency vehicles.  I stopped the DOT personnel and told him of our difficulties so that he would know why we were getting off the road when the opportunity to do so arose.  He was nice and told us that there had been two people killed and two with life threatening injuries in an accident earlier that had caused the back up.  He wished us luck.  I thought the truck beside us might try to get back on to the interstate and that would give us opportunity to move over to the side of the road and make a run for the nearest exit which was within site.  However, after DOT left, the driver simply went back to whatever he had been doing before DOT arrived.  We sate there long enough that the car cooled back down.  Finally, the traffic started moving again and we slowly inched toward the exit.  I wish I could say that our struggles ended there but they didn’t.  At this point, it looked like we would barely make it to the repair shop before they closed and that was only if we could navigate the congestion on the side roads.  I called Kevin back at the repair shop and explained the situation.  He said to just keep him updated and if we weren’t going to make it, call him back and he would wait for us.  We weren’t sure how to get to the shop from the exit and when I entered the address into my phone, I was shown a series of turns on a lot of side roads.  By this point, things were getting thick on the side roads but we were moving right along when suddenly in front of us a semi tried to make a right hand turn onto a small road and couldn’t make the turn.  Everyone had to stop.  We sat and watched the driver pull the truck forward, then back it up, then pull it forward and back it up.  With each move the truck got into an even worse predicament.  I sat there with eyes glued to the truck and saying out loud, “I don’t believe this.  I don’t believe this.  This is the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life.  How can this be happening?  He’s blocking two roads now and no one can go anywhere or do anything about it.”  I peeled my eyes away when I heard Mike say “The car is heating up again.”  So, Mike turned the car off and we sat there.  Finally, after a few minutes we turned the car on, backed into the drive to our right, turned around and headed in a different direction.  The GPS on my phone rerouted and we began turning on one road and then another.  Mike told me to call Kevin back.  When Kevin answered, I told him I couldn’t even begin to explain the difficulty we were having getting to him.  He very kindly told me not to worry that he would wait as long as needed and take care of us.  Relieved, I disconnected from the call and switched back to the GPS only to realize it was taking us back around from the top side to the same spot where the semi-truck was stuck in the road.  I voiced my concerns quickly and frantically because Mike was driving as fast as he could on these side roads with traffic to try to keep the engine cooled.  “Mike, we are headed right back to the same spot where the truck is stuck in the road blocking traffic.  I don’t know that we will be able to get through.”  Mike responded with something, I’m not sure what but it wasn’t very positive and we came over a hill and there sat the traffic backed up at the stop sign because they couldn’t get past the semi to proceed.  However, if we drove on the opposite side of the road and passed the cars sitting at the stop sign and made a left, we could keep going which is exactly what we did.  We had taken ten minutes to circle around and end up right back where we had been when the semi blocked the road but it had been completely impossible to pass it from the other side.  I breathed a sigh of relief as things began to thin out and we were able to keep speed and the car stayed cool.  Those few seconds of relief ended quickly because we were coming up to a stop light and traffic was backed up in every direction.  Again, we sat and the car started heating up.  “Turn it off”, I demanded.  Poor Mike.  I am glad he was patient with all my outbursts.  It wasn’t like he didn’t know to turn the car off.  Turning the car off and on we made it down to the light finally but merging onto the next street proved challenging and the cars were backed up pretty much all the way to the next light.  Thus, we made our way slowly and stressfully the last three miles until we got to the repair shop.  Kevin was there and took our car right back to have a technician look at it.  A lady inside offered us bottled water and we sat and waited.  It wasn’t too long, maybe 20 minutes and Kevin returned telling Mike that a fuse had blown and they had replaced the fuse and there would be no charge for the fuse or their time involved even though they stayed after hours and waited on us to get to the shop.  I told Kevin he got the award of the day for being such a great guy and he smiled.  I was so incredibly thankful for this act of kindness on such a crazy and stressful day.  Had he not been so gracious, we would have probably had to rent a car in order to finish our trip.  Getting back on the road was less stressful in that we didn’t have to worry about our car overheating but the traffic was still heavy and driving was difficult.  Instead of getting back on Interstate 81 which was still a nightmare, we took Highway 11 for a good many miles.  While better than 81, it was still very congested making for slow travel.  We finally got home to Laurel Fork six hours after we had started our trip.  I was so very happy to pull into our driveway that I could have kissed the dirt!  

April 27, 2018

I think the stress of the previous days with worry over grandma, watching the kids for long hours, dealing with a cow with the early stages of milk fever, and then the horrible drive back to Laurel Fork left me beyond exhausted and even though I had a good bit of sleep Wednesday night, I woke up feeling still tired Thursday morning and really not wanting to do anything but hide away from the world and rest for a few days.  We are not going to get the luxury of “a few days” on this trip because we actually have to head back to Staunton not quite 48 hours after arriving.  I decided not to push myself too hard.  I had some laundry to do, baked a pie, and made sourdough biscuits.  I also assisted Mike for a couple hours with building fence.  Mid-day, I got a text from my brother who had updates and some things we needed to discuss about grandma’s care so I had to drive up the road about a mile and a half to where I could get reliable cell phone service to take the call.  I spent a good bit of time on the phone with him and then made some additional phone calls before heading back to the house. 

I wish I could say that things were peaceful as always at our place in Laurel Fork but that wasn’t the case.  There is a curve with a bank to one side that is close to the road on one side of it just past our house.  On the other side of the road is where two streams come together on our property forming Roades Creek which runs into Laurel Fork Creek.  The state decided to widen the road just a little bit right there by taking down some of that bank.  At 7 am the private contractors arrived and not long after, DOT showed up.  The heavy equipment they brought to do the job was extremely loud in this holler.  The loader type piece of equipment was huge with a bucket on one end, but they soon dropped the bucket and resorted to some sort of piece that attached where the bucket would be that would drill down into the rocky bank and bust of the stone as they pulled down the dirt.  I knew I would cry if I thought about it.  They had already cut down some trees and now they were pounding and pulling away the dirt, changing the landscape and breaking my silence.  I just had to put it out of my mind.  The flag man spent all day standing at the end of our driveway directing traffic.  Being the introvert that I am and feeling especially reclusive, I refused to even walk to the mail box because I didn’t want to have to speak to anyone.  They worked until after 5 pm.  Mike and I were behind our house working on fence and the silence was enveloping once they left.  Earlier in the day, above the noise of all the equipment, I could hear “our” pair of geese across the road at the pond screaming at the top of their lungs.  I totally understood the instinct to scream disapproval at the disturbance to “our” little utopia.  “My” turkeys hid all day from the racket and I never saw a deer.  Even the birds at the feeders seemed scarce.  My entertainment for the day came from a Barred Rock hen that had escaped from the flock.  All day long she scratched in the yard, talking sweetly to us but when we would get within arm’s length of catching her, she would step a little faster and get away.  Talk, talk, talk….she spoke her feathered language and calmly engaged us as we built fence, watching us with interest.  We spoke back in soothing tones and laughed at her antics.  She would walk away for a while and we wouldn’t know where she went exactly and then she would circle back around checking on us.  As dusk came, we didn’t see her and thought perhaps she had roosted on some low branches where we could catch her or maybe that she had gone inside the barn.  However, she had decided to go into the “basement” of the 1950’s chicken house and roost on top of the wood we had stacked there to dry out for next winter.  Mike picked her up with no problem and she sat calmly in his arms while he stroked her and talked to her.  As soon as we put her in the house with the rest of the birds, she ran to the nesting boxes and started fluffing up the straw to lay an egg.  I laughed and told Mike that I guess she held it in all day waiting until she could lay it in a familiar setting. 

(Resumed writing at 5 pm)

And here we are back on Interstate 81 and the traffic again is horrendous.  My stomach is in knots.  I have been feeling a tightness in it since yesterday and made an emergency trip to the bathroom before we left home.  It’s probably nothing but nerves as I have been on edge all week and have not had enough time to really calm down before we head back north.  I finally told Mike that was going to look at my computer screen and write rather than watch us slam on the brakes and stop inches from the car in front of us time and time again.  The traffic is worse this week than I have seen it in the past year that we have been driving the roads weekly.  I am thankful that soon we won’t have to do this as much. 

I cleaned the chicken house out today, cleaned the waterers and feeders, cleaned the floor, we repaired a couple of screens that were torn and I talked to the hens and told them I would be back in a few days.  They responded with pleasant noises happy with the treats I had brought them from the kitchen.  We eat all the leftovers we can and then the chickens get the rest.  They are thrilled with the scraps.  I cleaned all the bird feeders and refilled them as well.  I had hung a hummingbird feeder and I am hoping they find it before we get back next week.  I did see my first hummingbird for the year (in the mountains) today.  He had found the “Fire Bush” (as my grandma calls it) and was sucking nectar from the red flowers.  I am always so thrilled to see the hummingbirds with their fast wings and beautiful colors.  While I was working outside a technician from Century Link (the telephone company) stopped by.  I had put in a request for a visit due to a line that went down in our yard well over a month ago in one of the storms.  He said that he had put in for a work order to be issued about three weeks ago regarding that line and he still did not have permission to repair it.  Welcome to rural Virginia.  I have to smile.  I am learning.  If you don’t do it yourself, it just won’t get done.  One way or another the line will be off our lawn eventually.  Speaking of getting things done, the contractor who was supposed to put our barn roof on back in January and who we contacted multiple times with no commitment from him as to if the job would be completed and when called today to say he was ready to put the roof on the barn.  Mike politely told him that it had been so long and he wasn’t sure if the job was going to get done, so we had found someone else.  The man told him he had done the right thing.  I think he was relieved he didn’t have to do it.  Mike said as soon as we got it done, someone would call back and say they were ready to help.  I laughed because he was right. 

I’ve been in thinking, in general, about some of the books I read as a teenager that influenced my life so much.  A book I had not given much thought since my early high school days is On Walden Pond by Hendry David Thoreau.  I remember just devouring that book and even at such a young age feeling the desire to isolate myself from the world and have the chance to absorb my natural surroundings.  I knew from a very young age that I wanted to live in Alaska and that I wanted to try my hand at homesteading.  I was able to experience many of the things I dreamed of experiencing although I never quite took it to the level I thought I would.  At one point, my ex husband and I had bought some property that was only accessible by boat in the summer and snow machine in the winter.  We talked about building a cabin and living there.  While it had always been a dream of mine to completely isolate myself from society and try my hand at living entirely off the land, I got cold feet when it came down to it.  I had two very small children and while I might have done it if the decision involved only adults, I could not bring myself to take my children into a situation where I didn’t have immediate access to medical help if I needed it.  I do wish that I had been able to follow those dreams but I am not sorry at all for the decision I made to not take my children into the Alaskan wilderness alone.  Thoreau himself was not that far from civilization.  In fact, he could easily walk back to town any time he so desired, so maybe Laurel Fork is my “Walden Pond”,  a place to be close to nature, not isolated but further from the bustle, and time of personal reflection.  It has been that for me this past year. 

10 pm

We made it back to Staunton and as is often the case, Mike just hurries to unload the car and then rushes down to the other farm.  This evening he had steers to pen up so that he can get them loaded and to the processor early in the morning.  I held Rory for a few minutes and looked at books with her when I first go home and then I headed outside to check on the cows.  Promise had calved this past Sunday and Shar calved on Thursday.  I had not seen Shar’s calf yet except in the pictures that Gabino had sent to me.  Analia asked me if she could help me milk and I told her she could if she would listen very carefully to me.  She brought her hearing protection (she hates loud noises) and I had her stay outside the gate until I had each cow securely in the stanchion.  Then, I let Analia come in and watch me milk.  She started doing this last year some and really enjoyed it.  She couldn’t wait for me to start milking again this season.  After milking, I had a good bit of clean up in the holding area where we were keeping the two momma cows and their calves.  With a lot of rain the previous night things were pretty messy.  I shoveled manure, gave the cows more hay, and refreshed their loose minerals.  The calves were content and happy lying in the shelter, both of them getting sleepy as night fell.  The moon was big and bright in the sky as the sun went down and Analia having gone back to the house, I took a walk through the pasture to check on the other cows.  When they saw me, they all came running.  They got their heads scratched and I checked out their udders trying to determine who would be the next to calve.  Actually, it didn’t look like any of them were close.  I am guessing the are still several weeks away.  If I had to guess, I would say Princess will be the next one to calve.  She might be slightly uddering up at this point. 

I saved some of the colostrum and labeled it for the freezer.  The rest, I put in gallon jars to clabber and I will take it to Laurel Fork for my chickens. 

April 29, 2018

Yesterday began with the jolt of another mini crisis.  I was sleeping soundly and my phone rang.  I knew immediately it as Mike and that there was something wrong with the cows.  I stumbled across the room where the phone was on the charger, answered with a hello that was both frantic and sleepy and heard Mike say, “Get the stuff together and get down here.”  Promise had milk fever and was actually out on her side on the ground this time, in almost the same spot as she went down last year when she calved.  The difference being, we found her sooner and her head wasn’t thrown through the board fence, a fact which had almost killed her last year.  I quickly began running some hot water while I got dressed so that the CMPK would be body temperature when we administered it.  I quickly gathered up the tubing, needle, threw my clothes on and grabbed what we needed.  When I got there, Mike had her head tied back so the vein was exposed.  One must secure the cow in such a manner to keep her from thrashing.  Milk fever leaves an animal unable to control their muscles and they do a lot of “flopping” around when you are trying to take care of them in this condition.  Tying them in this manner makes it safe for the cow and the farmer.  She was more dehydrated and in a worse predicament than the other day when we treated her.  Mike was worried he wouldn’t be able to find a vein.  It was a little more difficult for him but he did get it without too long of a delay and we put two bottles of CMPK in the vein and administered a tube of calcium orally.  The ordeal had made Mike late to get his steers to the processor, but I was glad he was there to help me immediately.  The longer one waits, the harder it is to get the cow back on their feet again.  Sometimes, when we call a vet, it can take hours for them to get there and quick response is key.  She did not get right up and I stayed outside with her so I could be close and make sure she didn’t get herself in a bad position.  It is important they remain sitting up and not flop out on their sides which they tend to do.  I put some saw dust around her to give her some traction as well as dry up the moisture around her.  Then I went close by to work on cleaning out the horse shelter while I kept an eye on her.  The heavy rains and mud had made a mess in the shelter for our mini horses and they manure was saturated and heavy to move.  I once thought I would hire a young man to help me move some of the manure and clean the shelters one spring.  Being the type of person that I am, I never ask anyone to do “the dirty work” without being willing to do it myself.  I gave him a shovel and a pitch fork and had one for myself.  I literally worked twice as fast as him, doing twice the work load.  When he complained that he couldn’t do a particular shelter because of bees (he was allergic) I just told him to go home and I thanked him for his time and paid him, never asking anyone to help me again.  I am not fast and I am not that strong but as long as I can do the work myself, I will continue to do it.  Mike does help me with this task on occasion, especially if things have gotten really built up over a long winter season, but mostly I figure they are my cows and horses and I need to do the work. Yesterday, I was wondering at the wisdom in this as I shoveled that heavy manure mixed with mud that had washed in from the heavy rains but nothing makes me feel more accomplished than seeing a clean shelter at the end of all the hard work.  And as a secondary benefit, I am beginning to see my body respond to all the physical labor I have been doing in the last month.  I determined a while back that I was done with bathroom scales, any type of diets, obsessing about food or size and weight and that I would no longer measure my steps or count the miles that I walk.  I decided that those things kept me from enjoying life to the fullest.  There is something really satisfying however in just getting out, working hard, and feeling stronger because of it.  Before my gallbladder surgery, I was probably in the best physical shape of my life, was able to work long hours, had a lot of muscle, strength and endurance.  During the last year and a half since that surgery that has changed a lot for me as I have not done a lot of the daily activities I have done for years that kept me in such good shape.  Now as I walk the steep terrain in the mountains, help to build fence, drag brush to the burn pile, carry in fire wood, muck the stalls, carry the milk bucket with milk, and get back into some of the more strenuous, routine activities I can feel my body responding….screaming at times that it would rather go back to bed and read a book in front of the fireplace…..but getting stronger and healthier with each day.  A natural response to hard work rather than trips to the gym or work out plan implemented at home to try to force my body into a certain size or shape, I feel really good about being this active again and building strength and endurance that I had lost.  There’s no goal out in front of me for a certain size or weight or look.  I simply want to be healthy.

After allowing Promise to rest for a while, I walked close to her, looked in her face and said earnestly, “Get up Promise.  Come on girl.”  I was overjoyed when she stood up, just like that!  The longer a cow stays down after having milk fever, the harder it is to get her up and often times it requires lifting the cow with a tractor and hip lift.  My fear was that she would not be strong enough to rise but at the sound of my voice, knowing what I wanted, she stood up.  I began to praise her, got her some fresh hay, and gave thanks for my blessings.  I continued to work outside, cleaning up after a winter spent on the road leaving the care of the cows to Gab and Alissa.  Their schedules are so busy that I couldn’t expect them to do anything other than feed and water the cows and see to their basic needs.  A winter’s worth of neglect can be a challenging task.  We also had thought that I would not be calving and milking here this year.  I had originally intended to try to move the cows either before they got close to calving or immediately afterwards.  Since we are not ready for animals yet in Laurel Fork, I have been working the last month to try to get things ready in Staunton for the new calves.  I am thankful I had the calcium and dextrose on hand and a new needle.  I am also glad that I had the milking machine serviced.  I walked  a small field that we have closed off yesterday picking up trash the wind had blown in and checking for spots the calves could escape.  That lot has always been a problem with newborns because the fence is high and they slide under it.  Many times I have hunted frantically for a calf that was lost in the woods only to find it hiding quietly from me after a long search.  The newborn instinct is to lie quietly hidden so that they are safe from predators.  That can make finding them difficult at times.  Not wanting to risk the same scenario, I asked Mike if he would put electric netting on the inside of that fence to keep the calves from slipping through.  He got that set up for me and I turned the momma cows out in that lot for the first time since they calved.  I usually only keep them in the dry lot/shelter area for two or three days but with Promise needing close supervision, I kept her in a while longer.  Momma cows and calves were eager to be out on the grass.  The little calves found their legs and ran as quickly as they could around the field.  There’s a peace that comes over me at times like this and a thankfulness that is hard to explain.  After a dozen years of cows and calves, every birth being celebrated, every loss being mourned, my heart and soul are intertwined with the history of these beautiful creatures that I have been blessed to manage.  There have been sleepless nights and long days I thought I would never get through. I have probably stressed far too much and worked way to hard to keep them.  Lord knows I’ve spent more money than I should have, kept the old, barren, or milk fever prone cows too long.  When I walk through the fields and see my cows, I don’t just see the cows I currently own, but I also see their mothers, and grandmothers in my memories. 

We have had no more issues with Promise since we treated her the second time for milk fever but I also have not milked her.  I am simply letting her calf nurse at this point.  I brought her into the stanchion this evening and stripped each quarter just a tiny bit to check for any signs of mastitis.  As long as her milk continues to be mastitis free, I will just let her nurse her baby and not put her under the stress of producing milk for the family.  I have been milking Shar once a day.  It has been years since she has been milked on a regular basis, but I am hoping that we can get her clear of colostrum and the blood from the broken capillaries in her udder (a very common occurrence after freshening).  I am so desperate for some real milk and Shar has delicious milk. 

April 30, 2018

I can’t believe another month is over and we are now well into spring, although the weather has not cooperated completely.  We are still getting some freezing temps at night from time to time in the Valley and most definitely in the mountains.  Mike has planted some of the garden.  It feels strange to him to be planting just for our immediate family but after taking a year off, I think he is more resigned to the fact and even glad that we don’t have the extra work. Of course, he will always miss growing produce in such large quantities and selling it.  He got such a joy out of providing it to the public.  I foresee him “piddling” with some produce sales in the future when things settle down but we will never be full scale again. 

We have two healthy, heifer calves and I believe Promise will be fine as long as I just let her be momma to her baby and don’t try to milk her.  Hopefully, we are past the crisis with her, although I foresee the same scenario when Princess calves, so we need to be ready to do this again. 

I’m starting to actually get down to where I am working on the “behind the scenes” packing of things that have been stored away.  With each trip we make south, I take another load after I have sorted and trashed, given away, or sold the items we don’t need.  It makes me feel good to consolidate and organize things.  I spent several hours on Saturday sorting through the “smalls” as the antique dealers refer to them.  These are items that take a good bit of time to price individually and typically don’t bring much money at resale but will be picked up by people looking to spend just a few dollars.  I had boxes of “smalls” that I had not taken the time to sort and price.  I had them stored in my milk kitchen and I was able to at least make a path through the milk kitchen after Saturday’s work.  We had found a good many vintage apple crates and I took those to the Factory Antique Mall and used them for shelving.  We had sold a rather large bench which left some space I needed to fill.  I worked at both malls over the weekend spot checking and picking up where things had been moved, putting a few new small items at both places. 

Sunday was a family day.  It is rare we are in Staunton for the weekend and this weekend was filled with family with the birthday party for our niece on Saturday and then all of our immediate family taking advantage of Mikey and Marisa’s visit and getting together for the afternoon.  It’s good to have everyone in one place.  Alissa is frantically trying to finish papers and get everything complete on her Master’s before she graduates on Thursday.  I think the Little Girls feel her stress and the baby especially has been pretty fussy.  Analia had so much fun at the birthday party that she hid when it was time to go and no one could find her, giving everyone a real scare.  I had already left and didn’t find out about it until later.  I would have been have been in panic mode had I been there.  Nate (Kristin’s husband) is working hard to learn the new things he needs to know at his new job in Charlottesville and has a long commute.  Gabino (Alissa’s husband) works hard at Target, twelve hour days, over the weekend and on Monday.  He has watched the girls every Wednesday during the day while Alissa teaches at Blue Ridge.  The twins, along with Analia are gearing up for kindergarten in the fall. Hudson loves bugs and when outside like he was over the weekend, spends a lot of his time off by himself hunting for bugs, ants, and spiders.  Ella is full of life, talks “a mile a minute” and loves to color and write.  We are all excited about the new baby that will be here in August.  Kristin looks adorable as baby grows and expands her tummy.  She is one of those women who can pull of being pregnant and be as beautiful as ever while doing it. 

From Sunday to Sunday this past week has been a series of stresses with my grandma’s injury, the traffic we had to maneuver on the interstate, the mechanical problems with the car, and the multiple incidents of milk fever with the cow but it has also provided opportunity for us to be together more than usual as family as we make memories that our Little People will carry with them into the future.  I sat holding Rory last night, who had been inconsolable for hours and rocked her back and forth and sang “Bye O Baby, Baby bye.  Bye O Baby, Baby bye” to the tune of the old hymn “Rock of Ages”.  I am sure it probably sounds quite strange to someone who might happen upon us and hear me singing but it is what my Granny Durham used to sing to the babies as she held them on her lap and rocked back and forth.  I have sung it so much to Rory with memories of Granny in my mind’s eye that she knows it too.  She sang along with me “Bye Baby.  Bye Baby” is how she sings it, her little voice rising in volume as we rocked.  I held tightly to my roots and my future as I heard my grandmother’s voice in my head and my granddaughter’s voice in my ear, bringing together pieces of my life and glimpse of the full circle. 

Barn, Fence and Grounds Restoration (Continued)

Pretty much every project we have tried to tackle at our new farm in Southwest Virginia has proven to be an opportunity for growth.  If you read my journals, you understand what I am saying.  I am trying to live life with the mindset that when things are difficult, don't fit our ideals, or out of our control that rather than feel like we are some how targeted "by the gods" as the object of their wrath,  I am trying to learn to approach difficulties with the mindset that we are being presented golden opportunities for personal growth.  "Growing" for me often resembles the struggles of an awkward teen.  I wish I could approach it more gracefully and graciously but the good news is that I am still moving forward in spite of all my flaws!

We had a major, expensive break with the loader and Mike was able to trouble shoot, order the part and repair it himself.  I was super proud of him.  We got some estimates on fencing and decided that we could save a lot of money by doing the work ourselves.  Definitely, we are not professionals, but the fence is going up and in the process, Mike and I are working side by side and enjoying the camaraderie of tackling such a major project and seeing it progress.  The biggest issues are the things that we don't have the knowledge or the skills to tackle such as the heating system for the house (which was somewhat of a nightmare until we got that resolved back in late fall).  At those times, we are at the mercy of contractors and finding someone to do the work and do it correctly is most difficult.  There are plenty of folks who want to come in and have you hand over some money who will make all kinds of promises and claims of expertise, but when it comes down to receiving a job well done for good money paid out, we have experienced a great void of business owners with character in this region.

On the other hand, there has been one project which under other circumstances, Mike could have tackled but due to the height and slope of the barn roof, I refused to give him my blessing to attempt to make repairs or replace it.  Thankfully, he agreed with me that the risk was not worth taking.  However, not being able to approach that project ourselves has left us very vulnerable.  We had one young man come in to repair the roof who ended up taking several hundred dollars from us and then disappeared without repairing the roof.  We then decided to go ahead and replace the barn roof and had a contractor lined up to complete the project for us in January or as soon as the weather cooperated.  Multiple calls to this contractor with him promising to come out and complete the job soon produced no results.  We found another contractor who agreed to do the work but the cost was extremely prohibitive and their attitude left us wondering if we could even work with them.  Finally, we found someone willing to do the work whom we felt had the skills and knowledge to do it right.

I'm not going to post the details of the week between start and finish of the barn roof, but will say that it was an extremely stressful week and we wondered if the project would get completed.  About four inches of rain dumped on us with the barn partially open to the elements where the old metal had been removed.  The contractor ran into issues with the old barn not being "square" and the metal having been ordered "precut".  There were some other things that I won't go into on a public forum but by the end of the week. the old metal roof was replaced with beautiful, new, green, metal roofing which really helped to bring the restoration process to a new level.  There are a few issues to address before the barn roof can be declared completely finished (a different ridge cap and possibly some silicone where screws were pre-drilled to name a couple), but for all intents and purposes, after a year long struggle, we finally have a new barn roof.

The barn, as much as the house, caused me to fall in love with this old dairy and poultry farm.  We have been blessed to be able to give it new life.  

I loved being able to see the structure of the barn underneath the metal.  

Digging post holes by hand.  

We continue to cut and clear brush.

Building fence on steep and rough terrain can be a challenge.

Might not win any awards but will keep the cattle inside and we have the satisfaction of knowing we did it ourselves.  

It's always good to remember where we started and how far we have come!

Monday Journals

April 19, 2018

At this point, I am thankful that I have managed to avoid being sick and I am hoping I can continue to do so.  Mike has now been congested and under the weather for almost two weeks and the Little Girls have had some really rough days and nights.  Analia is not on an antibiotic for an ear infection and poor Rory’s head so full of congestion that she can hardly breathe.  I spent pretty much all of Monday and Tuesday evening when I babysat just holding and trying to comfort them in their misery.  Alissa took Analia to the doctor on Tuesday and they said her ears were red but not infected and refused to give her medicine.  Tuesday night she screamed and cried in pain, even after taking Tylenol.  Alissa and Gab had been up with both girls most of the night.  Around 3 am, I went downstairs and took Rory so that Gab could go to bed.  Analia came over for a while, crying hysterically about her ears, and I held her at the same time, telling her stories to try to get her to calm down.  She eventually went back to her momma and fell asleep.  Alissa is so stressed with her Master’s classes winding down and her needing to finish up her work while trying to teach at Blue Ridge and finish out the semester there as well as take care of her babies.  I feel like I am just treading water myself when I am in Staunton.  I devote the majority of my time to keeping the girls and keeping all the other adults in the household fed and trying to keep a path through the chaos of us all living together.  I am tired.  Very tired.  I think we all are at this point.  Hopefully, things will slow down for Alissa here in a few weeks and Mike and I should fall into a different routine. Not sure quite how that is going to work out with my cows still in Staunton but it will all work itself out somehow.  This is the path we have chosen and we knew there would be difficulties along the way, so I am not complaining.  We are fortunate to still be able to tap into the “intentional living” and set aside time when we are in Laurel Fork to regroup and refresh.  We are working hard at our Southwest Virginia property as well and there is much here causing us stress right now, but we do have the opportunities (and take them) to do things that bring us joy. 

Tuesday, we made a trip to Harrisonburg to run some errands. Other than run up there to meet Kristin and family at a restaurant a few months back, I had not been in so very long.  We took Highway 11 like we always did when we went to the produce auction several years back but went to Dayton to pick up a part for Mike.  The Valley is so beautiful, especially when one finds oneself among the neat, Mennonite farms and homes.  I have always loved drives through those areas and it was a bit nostalgic for me having not been in a while.  I, personally, miss nothing about selling produce or going to the produce auction and the demands that it put on us physically as well as the stress it put on us on so many levels.  I do, however, miss those drives that we took either because it was part of our work day or because we were out for a joy ride.  (Many Sundays when Mike’s dad was still living we would go with Mike’s parents for long drives along country roads.  Those were good times.) We stopped to pick up the cylinder from the loader.  Mike had left it to see if it could be repaired, which it could not and we ended up buying a new one which cost us a small fortune.  (I was so proud of Mike for getting the part and putting it on and getting that loader up and going again.  We are learning to just go ahead and do things ourselves rather than try to find anyone around here that can or will do things for us.  While it can be frustrating, I think it is creating a new level of independence for us. When Pops, Mike’s Dad, was still living, he was so good at all the mechanical issues that we faced and he kept us going on so many levels.)  At the shop where we picked up the cylinder, there was an older Great Pyrenes dog that was walking and looking at everyone coming and going.  She caught my eye as I sat in the truck and before we left, I had to get out and talk to her.  I got down on my knees and held her face in my hands and looked in her eyes and I was taken back to when I would do the same with my dear Lady.  This dog looked at me the same way Lady looked at me and it made me all the more determined to some day get another Great Pyre.  From there, we dropped my milking machine off to be serviced and then went to see our twin grands that live in Harrisonburg.  Hudson and Ella were overjoyed to see us and immediately wanted us to go to their rooms and play with them, which we did.  We played a board game and read books before heading downstairs to eat pizza together and then play with toys.  The two and half hours we were there just flew by and we didn’t want to leave any more than the kids wanted us to leave.  We enjoyed getting to visit with Kristin and made plans to get together again soon.  We had originally planned to take all of the grands to the Frontier Culture Museum, but with Alissa’s two sick, we cancelled the group outing.  Mike had to meet a hay customer and I took the opportunity to run by the Factory Antique Mall to pick up our check and to straighten the booths. 

Mike traded some oat straw that we have had for a while to a man with a free-range chicken operation for some Barred Rocks and Rhode Island Red hens that are right at a year old.  It was a good deal for both parties.  We now have 11 more chickens that are currently laying and those hens along with our two pullets that are laying already will give us enough eggs for Mike and I.  Since I no longer need to supply share customers with eggs, the not quite two dozen hens we have is really all we need.  Wednesday we gathered up the new hens, I cleaned out the shelters and checked udders on the pregnant cows to see if anyone looked close to calving.  I didn’t see any of them that looked imminent.  I always take good inventory of the animals in Staunton before we leave to return to Laurel Fork, noting the mini horses and goats, the dogs, and the cattle.  We filled up the truck bed with items to be moved and put the birds in the midst of it all:  a handmade, child’s wagon that I use to haul milking equipment and firewood; a wrought iron bench that I was going to scrap one time but Mike and his dad repaired it and made it better than new before returning it to me; planters in case it every gets warm enough to actually buy flowers; a few yard ornaments; and homemade feed for the chickens made from corn and alfalfa grown on our farm in Staunton.  We arrived before dark, unloaded and decided it wasn’t cold enough for a fire.   

That changed today.  We had wind gusts up to 50 mph and the air was quite chilly.  The temps continued to drop throughout the day and we are under a frost advisory for tonight, so I made a fire early in the day and have kept it going.  I helped Mike outside for about 20 or 30 minutes, but other than check on the chickens and take them treats, I worked inside.  I needed this quiet day.  It was comforting to just be at home and be able to “nest” as I like to call it.  We had brought fresh rhubarb with us and I canned four pints and made a pie with it.  I canned rhubarb several years ago in an attempt to find a way to get it to my grandma who loves it so much.  She loved the canned Rhubarb and it is a great way to keep it on the shelf.  In previous years, I have always frozen it, but I find it freezer burns rather quickly and I end up feeding so much of it to the chickens or pigs rather than using it ourselves after it has been left in the freezer too long.  If I can it, I always know I can give it to my grandmother or I can keep it on the shelf for years if I want to.  I will be canning more as the season progresses.  I made a rhubarb upside down cake earlier in the week and Mike gave some away to an elderly lady that really enjoys it in Staunton.  Canning those few pints of rhubarb caused me to want to clean and organize my cellar, so I got started on that, wiping down all the jars in storage, sweeping off the shelves, putting new paper down on the shelves, and putting the clean jars in order.  I only did a section and put all the “old” home canned fruits, veggies, and juice together on those shelves so that I can use them first.  I ran out of time, but intend to clean off more shelves and line them so that I will be ready for all of this year’s canned goods.  I hope to can more and freeze less this year.  During all the years we were selling produce to the public, I was always trying to stay one step ahead and put up all the excess before they went bad.  It was all I could do to can a few things and freeze the rest.  I am hoping that now that we don’t have the pressure of selling produce and don’t have so much excess, that I can be more organized and can most of it. 

Mike felled a huge, dead, pine tree today.  That tree has been bothering him every since we moved here.  If it came down the wrong way, it would have destroyed our picnic shelter and it would have taken out the new fence that we are planning on building.  He decided that now that the old fence was out and we had not yet built the new fence in that area, that it was time for the tree to come down.  He did a great job of putting it right where he wanted it.  It’s going to be a lot of work to get it all cleaned up now. 

We noticed a lot of activity across the road at the meadow that is usually very quiet early this morning.  DOT was there in force and setting up an area to “dump” dirt as they start widening the road just down from our house.  The widening of the road will be a good thing but having the big trucks and graders in and out for a couple of weeks is going to be a bummer.  That was to the front of the house but to the back of the house, all was quiet and I saw a turkey hen walking around our yard calmly scratching and finding things to eat.  She stayed for a good while and I wanted to take her picture but decided that rather than risk scaring her by opening the door, I would just watch her and leave her in peace.  I have come to love watching the wild turkeys so much. 

April 20, 2018

Our bad luck with contractors continues.  The man who started our barn roof and left it with three panels off and the rafters exposed to the elements was supposed to return last Sunday morning to complete that side before the terrible rainstorms moved in.  He didn’t come and when Mike called him he gave excuses and also said he was out of town for the day.  He promised to return on Monday to finish that side and put a roof cap on the building.  We took him at his word, but when we arrived back in Laurel Fork on Wednesday, the roof had not been touched.  There were some other issues as well that with the roof that are concerning.  The man has not bothered to even try to get in touch with us to explain why he has not been back to the job site.  I am getting very worried because Mike is insisting that he needs to get up there himself and try to at least get those three panels on the roof before the next big storm moves in to the area.  I do not want him on the roof and I am doing all the talking I can to try to get him to hold off to see if the man will show up this weekend to finish the job.  I fear that although the man works for a major contractor and should know his stuff, that he bit off more than he could chew on his own, made some rookie mistakes and now doesn’t want to correct them and is considering walking off the job.  I don’t know what we will do if that is the case.  I am more concerned with keeping Mike off the roof at this point than I am with seeing the job completed if it involves putting Mike in danger.  

April 21, 2018

We had a good work day yesterday.  Mike was able to put up more fence and I assisted him with the boards.  He would have finished more of it but a man from down the road came by to look at the large pine that Mike had put on the ground and he and Mike both being “talkers” meant that several hours went by before Mike was able to get to work.  The man and his family have a logging business and Mike thought that maybe he could use the tree and was just going to give it to him.  However, the tree had been standing dead for so long that it was not worth salvaging.  Since pine doesn’t make good wood for the fireplace, Mike ended up just using the loader to take large sections of it to the brush pile.  I spent a good bit of time just raking up the bark and small pieces of limbs that literally flew all over the yard when the huge tree went down.  It was unreal how far the pieces flew!  I had to get it raked up before we could mow that section of the yard.  Mike mowed a bit and then I took over and mowed all but the steepest bank.  We have sections where we could use a riding mower but most of the land is too steep to use a riding mower safely and we just use a push mower.  It makes for some really good exercise.  I worked outside all afternoon into the evening, but morning was a bread baking day for me.  I have fallen back into the routine of making bread every week using local wheat that I grind myself.  The bread is so good.  I rarely eat “store bought” bread but I can’t stay out of the homemade!  While making the bread, I worked some more in the cellar and finished cleaning and organizing it so that I am ready to start the process of canning this summer.  I love having a designated spot for my canned goods.  (That’s something I didn’t have in Staunton and actually ended up using a linen closet to store all my canned goods as well as some shelving in the basement.)  The cellar is big enough that I can use it also as a place to store extra kitchen items that I don’t have room for in my small kitchen.  (That is one advantage the house in Staunton had over the house in Laurel Fork.  The kitchen in Staunton is spacious and I can spread out when I am working up produce for preservation.) I also cleaned out the chicken house yesterday.  The new chickens have integrated well with the pullets we have.  I am getting about ten eggs a day right now.  I am so happy to have my own fresh eggs again.  We have a friend from church that was sharing his eggs and they were delicious, but it is just not the same as having our own.  I think I have a hen going broody but since we don’t have a rooster, it won’t do her any good.  I will get a rooster eventually, but right now I don’t want to deal with one.  The hens are all so nice and gentle and one never knows if a rooster is going to get aggressive.  Once I am able to let them free range some, or at least be outside a good portion of the time, I will look for a Rooster. 

We were so late eating last night.  I was glad that I had put our meal in the oven and let it cook itself:  BBQ meatballs, seasoned potatoes and butternut squash along with homemade bread.  It held well on low until we were ready to eat it.  Afterwards, we were both so tired we just crashed on the couch.  Mike woke me up around midnight and we moved to the bedroom.  I heard him muttering something about the fact we had let the fire go out but I was already asleep while he was still trying to get it to take off again.  I woke up at 3 am and put more wood on the fire and slept fitfully from then on because my hip was hurting so badly.  It stinks having chronic pain but I am convinced it is arthritis and nothing to be done for it, so I just keep getting through it. I am also convinced that my discomforts are minimal compared to so many and that moving forward and working are the best antidote for what ails me.   I finally got up around 6:30 and put more wood on the fire, made coffee, showered and got ready for the day.  Shortly thereafter, the contractor arrived with a crew to work on the barn roof.  We decided to go to an auction.  We have not been in such a long time.  I really wasn’t interested as it was mostly tools, lawnmowers, and outdoor items.  There were no antiques to mention.  However, I knew if I didn’t agree to go to the auction, that Mike would feel like he should stay home as well.  I asked him to stop at Tractor Supply in Galax to see if they had any CMPK (a calcium/magnesium supplement for cattle).  We have a couple older cows who are prone to milk fever and I want to have supplies on hand in case we need to treat them after they calve.  I have stopped at two stores previously and one didn’t have any and one store only had on bottle.  I wanted to have multiple bottles on hand as well as some oral paste to give the cows after they freshen.  I found what I needed but they only had two bottles so I bought them both.  Now we are at the auction and after walking around for about 30 minutes and speaking to folks we know, I came to the car so that I could introvert.  Mike knows how I am and doesn’t fret about it as much anymore.  He knows I am better off chilling out in the car, reading, or writing, than becoming stressed out from too much social interaction. 

April 22, 2018

I fell asleep in the truck waiting on Mike to finish up at the auction yesterday.  I had slept little the night before, doing a lot of tossing and turning trying to get comfortable.  I closed my eyes for a minute with the seat leaned back and I must have gone instantly to sleep.  I slept hard and dreamed almost immediately.  I am guessing I probably only slept for about 30 minutes, but it was enough to give me a power boost. 

We arrived home mid afternoon and the men were still working on the barn roof.  It had been a stressful week regarding the barn roof after they walked away last weekend without finishing the one side, leaving the barn open to the nasty downpours that arrived on Sunday.  We got about two inches of rain last week, all of which went into the barn where there was no roof.  (It rained so hard that it took out about two feet of bank at one place in the stream that runs in front of our house.)  The barn set all week and although Mike had talked to the contractor a couple of times, things were strained between us and the contractor.  We actually wondered if the barn roof would get completed and Mike was talking about trying to get up on the steepest point and do the work himself to get the rafters covered again before we get the next rain.  I was really worrying that Mike might try to do that and kept encouraging him to give it a few more days.  It was such a relief to see the work crew show up bright and early Saturday morning and get to work.  Things went much more smoothly than they had the week before and while things started off really poorly the previous week and there were some critical issues Mike had to address, I was so proud of how Mike handled the whole situation.  Time and time again in our married life, I have watched Mike stand true to the principles he was taught in the church in which he was raised.  I can’t say that many Brethren Churches still promote, teach and practice the core values that were taught when Mike was a child coming up in the church (in my opinion which is only my opinion and possibly not shared by others).  However, those values were definitely engrained in my husband’s head and he took them to his heart and still seeks to practice them today.  I also attribute his strong character to his parents, of course, who upheld the values of the church and lived them in their own lives providing an example for their children.  Never have a met a man of more character than Mike’s dad.  I have watched Mike handle situation after situation with individuals who have been less than fair to him and watched him ultimately respond correctly instead of lashing out.  Often times, that has meant that he has taken the raw end of the deal, so to speak.  With that said, Mike is not afraid to speak his mind or stand up to people as to how he SHOULD be treated, but when someone chooses to respond improperly, I have seen him more times than not respond with kindness and forgiveness.  On the other hand, as Mike’s partner, I am the sounding board to hear out his frustration and to let him talk about options.  It was a stressful week as I mostly listened as he tried to sort out different scenarios and the best way to respond and the best way to move forward if things didn’t work out for us.  In the end, although it usually doesn’t happen this way, we ended up with satisfactory results and everyone walked away friends and we have a lovely barn roof that makes all the previous work we have done on the barn look complete now.  (We have so much to do inside the barn but from the outside, the barn looks just lovely.)

While the men worked on the barn roof, Mike and I worked on putting up more board fence.  We got a nice section completed yesterday.  We are figuring out what works best and moving along faster now.  As we worked together, I thought about the fact that being further invested in the projects as we work side by side has in fact brought us even closer and while it would have been nice to pay someone to come in and get the job done quickly, we would have missed out on so much that we have shared in the process.  The same has been true of each of the projects we have tackled here.  Mike wrapped his arms around me last night as I stood at the sink washing dishes long past dark when we came inside and ate a sandwich.  He told me again how content he is and how much joy being here together brings him.  I spoke of how blessed we are to have our health, the ability to work on projects together, and the means to make this all happen.  There are many joys and many things we love about our new farm and our life here in Southwest Virginia but the bottom line is that it provides us with an opportunity to focus on shared goals and to work together on multiple projects to achieve those goals.  Our day to day here has provided opportunity for us to take an already strong relationship to a new level of intimacy and growth.  I am grateful for this opportunity that has been provided to us and while I am weary at times being strung out between two farms that are almost three hours apart and trying to support family from as far as the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia to the mountains of Northwest Georgia, I know this move to Southwest Virginia was the right choice for us.  Some people shake their heads and think we are crazy.  Others have an erroneous idea of our reasons for what we have done.  The bottom line at the end of the day is my husband’s arms around me, his breath warm on the top of my head as it lays on his shoulder, and the fact that the two of us share the same heart. 

April 23, 2018

Awake at 2:30 this morning on a day when I desperately needed my rest.  I lay there for an hour before finally giving in to the ache in my hip that was screaming for me to get up and walk around for a bit as well as the plethora of thoughts going through my head after a full day yesterday.  The highs and lows of yesterday will have to sort themselves out, as they will one way or another with time.  The first thing I did was make coffee and the second was to go check on Promise and her new calf.  When we arrived back in Staunton yesterday we had different things competing for our attention which I will get to in a moment, but at one point in all the chaos, I looked out the window and saw Promise lying down up by the watering trough, an area where she would not normally rest.  I also saw that she was alone and knowing she was close to calving, ran out in my sandals, sleeveless blouse (dressed way to cool for the weather) and nice pants to take a quick look.  As I got closer, I could see she had a calf in front of her, dried off, perky, sitting up and observing her new world.  Promise looked to be all right and I was instantly relieved.  Promise is the cow we had such time with last year when she calved and went down with milk fever.  She is certainly not out of the water for a similar event to happen this calving, but for now she looks great.  She immediately stood up and indicated she wanted in to the corral area.  I had to smile.  She is an old pro and I guess knows the routine.  I either have them calve in the shelters or move them to the shelters after they calve.  She did all the work for me, having her baby successfully without intervention and then bringing baby to me and asking to be let into the shelters.  I got her fresh water and some hay, got the baby settled in and ran back up to the house.

There was no time to waste because a surprise that I had been party to had come to fruition and I didn’t’ want to miss one minute with our Mikey and Marissa!  A little over a week ago, Mikey, our son who lives in Thailand, sent me a message and said he wanted to surprise his dad and they would be coming home unannounced for a visit.  Nate (Kristin’s husband), Alissa and I were the only ones to know because we wanted everyone else to be surprised.  I had a hard time getting Mike to leave Laurel Fork in a timely manner so that we could get back and meet Mikey and Marissa and finally I said to him, “You have to go now because I have a surprise for you back in Staunton.”  Of course that meant he began to ask a million question of which I refused to answer (not for a minute guessing what we had planned) and when we finally got on the road, he accused me of lying to him to get him to hurry up.  He said, “You just told me that to get me in the car, there’s not really a surprise is there?”  To which I replied, “No”.  Then I laughed and said, “Well, one of the things I told you is true and the other is a lie.  I’m not going to tell you which one.”  He teased me for a long time on the trip about lying to him and I just laughed at him.  As we approached Staunton he had a list of things he was going to do when we got home and I just kept saying, “Go inside the house first.”  By this point, he was getting focused on setting and accomplishing goals for the evening and was irritated by my insistence that he could not just jump in the car and go to the farm as soon as we arrived. 

The surprise worked out perfectly, Mike was thrilled and promptly “forgave” me for “lying” although he teased me the rest of the night about it saying he could never trust me again and we had a wonderful time with Mikey and Marissa and look forward to spending time with them in the next month while they are here in the US.  Unfortunately, I was unable to see the initial response of Mike and Mikey’s reunion.  As we were approaching Verona, I received a call from my grandma’s pastor’s wife.  The preacher and his wife pick Nan up for services and when they had gone to pick her up for Sunday evening services, she fell off the steps at her house.  They called an ambulance and took her to the hospital where the staff determined she had fractured her ankle and had some dislocation in her leg as well.  After more time and evaluation, it was determined that she is going to have to have surgery.  The hospital was going to send her home and I started working frantically to get in touch with my brother who lives in the area as well as my cousin who is a part time caretaker for Nan.  I finally, after many calls and some time was able to reach Jimmy and he went to the hospital and convinced them to keep Nan until she has surgery.  After explaining her situation, the doctor there said they would keep her in their care until she is able to recover enough to get around on that leg.  Any other time I would have gotten in the car and headed to Georgia but Alissa is two weeks away from completing her Masters and completely covered up with work to finish her degree.  There is no way I can leave her without child care for the girls at this time as she is burning the candle at both ends to try to get everything done she needs to get finished so she can get her degree.  We have all invested so much into this moment and I am stressed between needing to be in two different places, but I know that between Jimmy, Lou and the medical staff at the hospital that Nan will be cared for well and I will most likely be needed more to fill in the gaps after she gets home from the hospital.  Not sure how I am going to make that happen with cows calving and all we have going on here, but if need be, I will just have to insist that she come home with me so that I can care for her. 

One thing I have learned in life is that the odds are that when things start falling into place and a routine begins to get established and life feels like it might just get more manageable, something else pops up to remind us that we really are not in control.  It must be time for more personal growth and life is going to insist that I make a choice to what I am going to do with the stressful opportunities presented to me.  At this moment, I am just thankful for a healthy heifer calf, a cow that is still standing and nursing her baby, a son whom I can put my arms around after a year of communicating only by email and skype, the fact my husband and grands are all on the mend from their respiratory infections, and the fact that God has graciously allowed me to remain healthy and have the strength to do the things I need to do.

One day at a time, pulling from each day the blessings on which to focus may I respond with wisdom and grace to each challenge and when I fail, may I find the strength to admit my weakness and look for ways I can learn and grow and hopefully do better next time.  And, as the days get busier and more stressful, may I not forget to look for those moments when I can live intentionally, or better yet, may I learn to live intentionally in each and every moment.