Monday, April 23, 2018

Monday Journals




April 19, 2018

At this point, I am thankful that I have managed to avoid being sick and I am hoping I can continue to do so.  Mike has now been congested and under the weather for almost two weeks and the Little Girls have had some really rough days and nights.  Analia is not on an antibiotic for an ear infection and poor Rory’s head so full of congestion that she can hardly breathe.  I spent pretty much all of Monday and Tuesday evening when I babysat just holding and trying to comfort them in their misery.  Alissa took Analia to the doctor on Tuesday and they said her ears were red but not infected and refused to give her medicine.  Tuesday night she screamed and cried in pain, even after taking Tylenol.  Alissa and Gab had been up with both girls most of the night.  Around 3 am, I went downstairs and took Rory so that Gab could go to bed.  Analia came over for a while, crying hysterically about her ears, and I held her at the same time, telling her stories to try to get her to calm down.  She eventually went back to her momma and fell asleep.  Alissa is so stressed with her Master’s classes winding down and her needing to finish up her work while trying to teach at Blue Ridge and finish out the semester there as well as take care of her babies.  I feel like I am just treading water myself when I am in Staunton.  I devote the majority of my time to keeping the girls and keeping all the other adults in the household fed and trying to keep a path through the chaos of us all living together.  I am tired.  Very tired.  I think we all are at this point.  Hopefully, things will slow down for Alissa here in a few weeks and Mike and I should fall into a different routine. Not sure quite how that is going to work out with my cows still in Staunton but it will all work itself out somehow.  This is the path we have chosen and we knew there would be difficulties along the way, so I am not complaining.  We are fortunate to still be able to tap into the “intentional living” and set aside time when we are in Laurel Fork to regroup and refresh.  We are working hard at our Southwest Virginia property as well and there is much here causing us stress right now, but we do have the opportunities (and take them) to do things that bring us joy. 

Tuesday, we made a trip to Harrisonburg to run some errands. Other than run up there to meet Kristin and family at a restaurant a few months back, I had not been in so very long.  We took Highway 11 like we always did when we went to the produce auction several years back but went to Dayton to pick up a part for Mike.  The Valley is so beautiful, especially when one finds oneself among the neat, Mennonite farms and homes.  I have always loved drives through those areas and it was a bit nostalgic for me having not been in a while.  I, personally, miss nothing about selling produce or going to the produce auction and the demands that it put on us physically as well as the stress it put on us on so many levels.  I do, however, miss those drives that we took either because it was part of our work day or because we were out for a joy ride.  (Many Sundays when Mike’s dad was still living we would go with Mike’s parents for long drives along country roads.  Those were good times.) We stopped to pick up the cylinder from the loader.  Mike had left it to see if it could be repaired, which it could not and we ended up buying a new one which cost us a small fortune.  (I was so proud of Mike for getting the part and putting it on and getting that loader up and going again.  We are learning to just go ahead and do things ourselves rather than try to find anyone around here that can or will do things for us.  While it can be frustrating, I think it is creating a new level of independence for us. When Pops, Mike’s Dad, was still living, he was so good at all the mechanical issues that we faced and he kept us going on so many levels.)  At the shop where we picked up the cylinder, there was an older Great Pyrenes dog that was walking and looking at everyone coming and going.  She caught my eye as I sat in the truck and before we left, I had to get out and talk to her.  I got down on my knees and held her face in my hands and looked in her eyes and I was taken back to when I would do the same with my dear Lady.  This dog looked at me the same way Lady looked at me and it made me all the more determined to some day get another Great Pyre.  From there, we dropped my milking machine off to be serviced and then went to see our twin grands that live in Harrisonburg.  Hudson and Ella were overjoyed to see us and immediately wanted us to go to their rooms and play with them, which we did.  We played a board game and read books before heading downstairs to eat pizza together and then play with toys.  The two and half hours we were there just flew by and we didn’t want to leave any more than the kids wanted us to leave.  We enjoyed getting to visit with Kristin and made plans to get together again soon.  We had originally planned to take all of the grands to the Frontier Culture Museum, but with Alissa’s two sick, we cancelled the group outing.  Mike had to meet a hay customer and I took the opportunity to run by the Factory Antique Mall to pick up our check and to straighten the booths. 

Mike traded some oat straw that we have had for a while to a man with a free-range chicken operation for some Barred Rocks and Rhode Island Red hens that are right at a year old.  It was a good deal for both parties.  We now have 11 more chickens that are currently laying and those hens along with our two pullets that are laying already will give us enough eggs for Mike and I.  Since I no longer need to supply share customers with eggs, the not quite two dozen hens we have is really all we need.  Wednesday we gathered up the new hens, I cleaned out the shelters and checked udders on the pregnant cows to see if anyone looked close to calving.  I didn’t see any of them that looked imminent.  I always take good inventory of the animals in Staunton before we leave to return to Laurel Fork, noting the mini horses and goats, the dogs, and the cattle.  We filled up the truck bed with items to be moved and put the birds in the midst of it all:  a handmade, child’s wagon that I use to haul milking equipment and firewood; a wrought iron bench that I was going to scrap one time but Mike and his dad repaired it and made it better than new before returning it to me; planters in case it every gets warm enough to actually buy flowers; a few yard ornaments; and homemade feed for the chickens made from corn and alfalfa grown on our farm in Staunton.  We arrived before dark, unloaded and decided it wasn’t cold enough for a fire.   

That changed today.  We had wind gusts up to 50 mph and the air was quite chilly.  The temps continued to drop throughout the day and we are under a frost advisory for tonight, so I made a fire early in the day and have kept it going.  I helped Mike outside for about 20 or 30 minutes, but other than check on the chickens and take them treats, I worked inside.  I needed this quiet day.  It was comforting to just be at home and be able to “nest” as I like to call it.  We had brought fresh rhubarb with us and I canned four pints and made a pie with it.  I canned rhubarb several years ago in an attempt to find a way to get it to my grandma who loves it so much.  She loved the canned Rhubarb and it is a great way to keep it on the shelf.  In previous years, I have always frozen it, but I find it freezer burns rather quickly and I end up feeding so much of it to the chickens or pigs rather than using it ourselves after it has been left in the freezer too long.  If I can it, I always know I can give it to my grandmother or I can keep it on the shelf for years if I want to.  I will be canning more as the season progresses.  I made a rhubarb upside down cake earlier in the week and Mike gave some away to an elderly lady that really enjoys it in Staunton.  Canning those few pints of rhubarb caused me to want to clean and organize my cellar, so I got started on that, wiping down all the jars in storage, sweeping off the shelves, putting new paper down on the shelves, and putting the clean jars in order.  I only did a section and put all the “old” home canned fruits, veggies, and juice together on those shelves so that I can use them first.  I ran out of time, but intend to clean off more shelves and line them so that I will be ready for all of this year’s canned goods.  I hope to can more and freeze less this year.  During all the years we were selling produce to the public, I was always trying to stay one step ahead and put up all the excess before they went bad.  It was all I could do to can a few things and freeze the rest.  I am hoping that now that we don’t have the pressure of selling produce and don’t have so much excess, that I can be more organized and can most of it. 

Mike felled a huge, dead, pine tree today.  That tree has been bothering him every since we moved here.  If it came down the wrong way, it would have destroyed our picnic shelter and it would have taken out the new fence that we are planning on building.  He decided that now that the old fence was out and we had not yet built the new fence in that area, that it was time for the tree to come down.  He did a great job of putting it right where he wanted it.  It’s going to be a lot of work to get it all cleaned up now. 

We noticed a lot of activity across the road at the meadow that is usually very quiet early this morning.  DOT was there in force and setting up an area to “dump” dirt as they start widening the road just down from our house.  The widening of the road will be a good thing but having the big trucks and graders in and out for a couple of weeks is going to be a bummer.  That was to the front of the house but to the back of the house, all was quiet and I saw a turkey hen walking around our yard calmly scratching and finding things to eat.  She stayed for a good while and I wanted to take her picture but decided that rather than risk scaring her by opening the door, I would just watch her and leave her in peace.  I have come to love watching the wild turkeys so much. 

April 20, 2018

Our bad luck with contractors continues.  The man who started our barn roof and left it with three panels off and the rafters exposed to the elements was supposed to return last Sunday morning to complete that side before the terrible rainstorms moved in.  He didn’t come and when Mike called him he gave excuses and also said he was out of town for the day.  He promised to return on Monday to finish that side and put a roof cap on the building.  We took him at his word, but when we arrived back in Laurel Fork on Wednesday, the roof had not been touched.  There were some other issues as well that with the roof that are concerning.  The man has not bothered to even try to get in touch with us to explain why he has not been back to the job site.  I am getting very worried because Mike is insisting that he needs to get up there himself and try to at least get those three panels on the roof before the next big storm moves in to the area.  I do not want him on the roof and I am doing all the talking I can to try to get him to hold off to see if the man will show up this weekend to finish the job.  I fear that although the man works for a major contractor and should know his stuff, that he bit off more than he could chew on his own, made some rookie mistakes and now doesn’t want to correct them and is considering walking off the job.  I don’t know what we will do if that is the case.  I am more concerned with keeping Mike off the roof at this point than I am with seeing the job completed if it involves putting Mike in danger.  

April 21, 2018

We had a good work day yesterday.  Mike was able to put up more fence and I assisted him with the boards.  He would have finished more of it but a man from down the road came by to look at the large pine that Mike had put on the ground and he and Mike both being “talkers” meant that several hours went by before Mike was able to get to work.  The man and his family have a logging business and Mike thought that maybe he could use the tree and was just going to give it to him.  However, the tree had been standing dead for so long that it was not worth salvaging.  Since pine doesn’t make good wood for the fireplace, Mike ended up just using the loader to take large sections of it to the brush pile.  I spent a good bit of time just raking up the bark and small pieces of limbs that literally flew all over the yard when the huge tree went down.  It was unreal how far the pieces flew!  I had to get it raked up before we could mow that section of the yard.  Mike mowed a bit and then I took over and mowed all but the steepest bank.  We have sections where we could use a riding mower but most of the land is too steep to use a riding mower safely and we just use a push mower.  It makes for some really good exercise.  I worked outside all afternoon into the evening, but morning was a bread baking day for me.  I have fallen back into the routine of making bread every week using local wheat that I grind myself.  The bread is so good.  I rarely eat “store bought” bread but I can’t stay out of the homemade!  While making the bread, I worked some more in the cellar and finished cleaning and organizing it so that I am ready to start the process of canning this summer.  I love having a designated spot for my canned goods.  (That’s something I didn’t have in Staunton and actually ended up using a linen closet to store all my canned goods as well as some shelving in the basement.)  The cellar is big enough that I can use it also as a place to store extra kitchen items that I don’t have room for in my small kitchen.  (That is one advantage the house in Staunton had over the house in Laurel Fork.  The kitchen in Staunton is spacious and I can spread out when I am working up produce for preservation.) I also cleaned out the chicken house yesterday.  The new chickens have integrated well with the pullets we have.  I am getting about ten eggs a day right now.  I am so happy to have my own fresh eggs again.  We have a friend from church that was sharing his eggs and they were delicious, but it is just not the same as having our own.  I think I have a hen going broody but since we don’t have a rooster, it won’t do her any good.  I will get a rooster eventually, but right now I don’t want to deal with one.  The hens are all so nice and gentle and one never knows if a rooster is going to get aggressive.  Once I am able to let them free range some, or at least be outside a good portion of the time, I will look for a Rooster. 

We were so late eating last night.  I was glad that I had put our meal in the oven and let it cook itself:  BBQ meatballs, seasoned potatoes and butternut squash along with homemade bread.  It held well on low until we were ready to eat it.  Afterwards, we were both so tired we just crashed on the couch.  Mike woke me up around midnight and we moved to the bedroom.  I heard him muttering something about the fact we had let the fire go out but I was already asleep while he was still trying to get it to take off again.  I woke up at 3 am and put more wood on the fire and slept fitfully from then on because my hip was hurting so badly.  It stinks having chronic pain but I am convinced it is arthritis and nothing to be done for it, so I just keep getting through it. I am also convinced that my discomforts are minimal compared to so many and that moving forward and working are the best antidote for what ails me.   I finally got up around 6:30 and put more wood on the fire, made coffee, showered and got ready for the day.  Shortly thereafter, the contractor arrived with a crew to work on the barn roof.  We decided to go to an auction.  We have not been in such a long time.  I really wasn’t interested as it was mostly tools, lawnmowers, and outdoor items.  There were no antiques to mention.  However, I knew if I didn’t agree to go to the auction, that Mike would feel like he should stay home as well.  I asked him to stop at Tractor Supply in Galax to see if they had any CMPK (a calcium/magnesium supplement for cattle).  We have a couple older cows who are prone to milk fever and I want to have supplies on hand in case we need to treat them after they calve.  I have stopped at two stores previously and one didn’t have any and one store only had on bottle.  I wanted to have multiple bottles on hand as well as some oral paste to give the cows after they freshen.  I found what I needed but they only had two bottles so I bought them both.  Now we are at the auction and after walking around for about 30 minutes and speaking to folks we know, I came to the car so that I could introvert.  Mike knows how I am and doesn’t fret about it as much anymore.  He knows I am better off chilling out in the car, reading, or writing, than becoming stressed out from too much social interaction. 

April 22, 2018

I fell asleep in the truck waiting on Mike to finish up at the auction yesterday.  I had slept little the night before, doing a lot of tossing and turning trying to get comfortable.  I closed my eyes for a minute with the seat leaned back and I must have gone instantly to sleep.  I slept hard and dreamed almost immediately.  I am guessing I probably only slept for about 30 minutes, but it was enough to give me a power boost. 

We arrived home mid afternoon and the men were still working on the barn roof.  It had been a stressful week regarding the barn roof after they walked away last weekend without finishing the one side, leaving the barn open to the nasty downpours that arrived on Sunday.  We got about two inches of rain last week, all of which went into the barn where there was no roof.  (It rained so hard that it took out about two feet of bank at one place in the stream that runs in front of our house.)  The barn set all week and although Mike had talked to the contractor a couple of times, things were strained between us and the contractor.  We actually wondered if the barn roof would get completed and Mike was talking about trying to get up on the steepest point and do the work himself to get the rafters covered again before we get the next rain.  I was really worrying that Mike might try to do that and kept encouraging him to give it a few more days.  It was such a relief to see the work crew show up bright and early Saturday morning and get to work.  Things went much more smoothly than they had the week before and while things started off really poorly the previous week and there were some critical issues Mike had to address, I was so proud of how Mike handled the whole situation.  Time and time again in our married life, I have watched Mike stand true to the principles he was taught in the church in which he was raised.  I can’t say that many Brethren Churches still promote, teach and practice the core values that were taught when Mike was a child coming up in the church (in my opinion which is only my opinion and possibly not shared by others).  However, those values were definitely engrained in my husband’s head and he took them to his heart and still seeks to practice them today.  I also attribute his strong character to his parents, of course, who upheld the values of the church and lived them in their own lives providing an example for their children.  Never have a met a man of more character than Mike’s dad.  I have watched Mike handle situation after situation with individuals who have been less than fair to him and watched him ultimately respond correctly instead of lashing out.  Often times, that has meant that he has taken the raw end of the deal, so to speak.  With that said, Mike is not afraid to speak his mind or stand up to people as to how he SHOULD be treated, but when someone chooses to respond improperly, I have seen him more times than not respond with kindness and forgiveness.  On the other hand, as Mike’s partner, I am the sounding board to hear out his frustration and to let him talk about options.  It was a stressful week as I mostly listened as he tried to sort out different scenarios and the best way to respond and the best way to move forward if things didn’t work out for us.  In the end, although it usually doesn’t happen this way, we ended up with satisfactory results and everyone walked away friends and we have a lovely barn roof that makes all the previous work we have done on the barn look complete now.  (We have so much to do inside the barn but from the outside, the barn looks just lovely.)

While the men worked on the barn roof, Mike and I worked on putting up more board fence.  We got a nice section completed yesterday.  We are figuring out what works best and moving along faster now.  As we worked together, I thought about the fact that being further invested in the projects as we work side by side has in fact brought us even closer and while it would have been nice to pay someone to come in and get the job done quickly, we would have missed out on so much that we have shared in the process.  The same has been true of each of the projects we have tackled here.  Mike wrapped his arms around me last night as I stood at the sink washing dishes long past dark when we came inside and ate a sandwich.  He told me again how content he is and how much joy being here together brings him.  I spoke of how blessed we are to have our health, the ability to work on projects together, and the means to make this all happen.  There are many joys and many things we love about our new farm and our life here in Southwest Virginia but the bottom line is that it provides us with an opportunity to focus on shared goals and to work together on multiple projects to achieve those goals.  Our day to day here has provided opportunity for us to take an already strong relationship to a new level of intimacy and growth.  I am grateful for this opportunity that has been provided to us and while I am weary at times being strung out between two farms that are almost three hours apart and trying to support family from as far as the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia to the mountains of Northwest Georgia, I know this move to Southwest Virginia was the right choice for us.  Some people shake their heads and think we are crazy.  Others have an erroneous idea of our reasons for what we have done.  The bottom line at the end of the day is my husband’s arms around me, his breath warm on the top of my head as it lays on his shoulder, and the fact that the two of us share the same heart. 

April 23, 2018

Awake at 2:30 this morning on a day when I desperately needed my rest.  I lay there for an hour before finally giving in to the ache in my hip that was screaming for me to get up and walk around for a bit as well as the plethora of thoughts going through my head after a full day yesterday.  The highs and lows of yesterday will have to sort themselves out, as they will one way or another with time.  The first thing I did was make coffee and the second was to go check on Promise and her new calf.  When we arrived back in Staunton yesterday we had different things competing for our attention which I will get to in a moment, but at one point in all the chaos, I looked out the window and saw Promise lying down up by the watering trough, an area where she would not normally rest.  I also saw that she was alone and knowing she was close to calving, ran out in my sandals, sleeveless blouse (dressed way to cool for the weather) and nice pants to take a quick look.  As I got closer, I could see she had a calf in front of her, dried off, perky, sitting up and observing her new world.  Promise looked to be all right and I was instantly relieved.  Promise is the cow we had such time with last year when she calved and went down with milk fever.  She is certainly not out of the water for a similar event to happen this calving, but for now she looks great.  She immediately stood up and indicated she wanted in to the corral area.  I had to smile.  She is an old pro and I guess knows the routine.  I either have them calve in the shelters or move them to the shelters after they calve.  She did all the work for me, having her baby successfully without intervention and then bringing baby to me and asking to be let into the shelters.  I got her fresh water and some hay, got the baby settled in and ran back up to the house.

There was no time to waste because a surprise that I had been party to had come to fruition and I didn’t’ want to miss one minute with our Mikey and Marissa!  A little over a week ago, Mikey, our son who lives in Thailand, sent me a message and said he wanted to surprise his dad and they would be coming home unannounced for a visit.  Nate (Kristin’s husband), Alissa and I were the only ones to know because we wanted everyone else to be surprised.  I had a hard time getting Mike to leave Laurel Fork in a timely manner so that we could get back and meet Mikey and Marissa and finally I said to him, “You have to go now because I have a surprise for you back in Staunton.”  Of course that meant he began to ask a million question of which I refused to answer (not for a minute guessing what we had planned) and when we finally got on the road, he accused me of lying to him to get him to hurry up.  He said, “You just told me that to get me in the car, there’s not really a surprise is there?”  To which I replied, “No”.  Then I laughed and said, “Well, one of the things I told you is true and the other is a lie.  I’m not going to tell you which one.”  He teased me for a long time on the trip about lying to him and I just laughed at him.  As we approached Staunton he had a list of things he was going to do when we got home and I just kept saying, “Go inside the house first.”  By this point, he was getting focused on setting and accomplishing goals for the evening and was irritated by my insistence that he could not just jump in the car and go to the farm as soon as we arrived. 

The surprise worked out perfectly, Mike was thrilled and promptly “forgave” me for “lying” although he teased me the rest of the night about it saying he could never trust me again and we had a wonderful time with Mikey and Marissa and look forward to spending time with them in the next month while they are here in the US.  Unfortunately, I was unable to see the initial response of Mike and Mikey’s reunion.  As we were approaching Verona, I received a call from my grandma’s pastor’s wife.  The preacher and his wife pick Nan up for services and when they had gone to pick her up for Sunday evening services, she fell off the steps at her house.  They called an ambulance and took her to the hospital where the staff determined she had fractured her ankle and had some dislocation in her leg as well.  After more time and evaluation, it was determined that she is going to have to have surgery.  The hospital was going to send her home and I started working frantically to get in touch with my brother who lives in the area as well as my cousin who is a part time caretaker for Nan.  I finally, after many calls and some time was able to reach Jimmy and he went to the hospital and convinced them to keep Nan until she has surgery.  After explaining her situation, the doctor there said they would keep her in their care until she is able to recover enough to get around on that leg.  Any other time I would have gotten in the car and headed to Georgia but Alissa is two weeks away from completing her Masters and completely covered up with work to finish her degree.  There is no way I can leave her without child care for the girls at this time as she is burning the candle at both ends to try to get everything done she needs to get finished so she can get her degree.  We have all invested so much into this moment and I am stressed between needing to be in two different places, but I know that between Jimmy, Lou and the medical staff at the hospital that Nan will be cared for well and I will most likely be needed more to fill in the gaps after she gets home from the hospital.  Not sure how I am going to make that happen with cows calving and all we have going on here, but if need be, I will just have to insist that she come home with me so that I can care for her. 

One thing I have learned in life is that the odds are that when things start falling into place and a routine begins to get established and life feels like it might just get more manageable, something else pops up to remind us that we really are not in control.  It must be time for more personal growth and life is going to insist that I make a choice to what I am going to do with the stressful opportunities presented to me.  At this moment, I am just thankful for a healthy heifer calf, a cow that is still standing and nursing her baby, a son whom I can put my arms around after a year of communicating only by email and skype, the fact my husband and grands are all on the mend from their respiratory infections, and the fact that God has graciously allowed me to remain healthy and have the strength to do the things I need to do.

One day at a time, pulling from each day the blessings on which to focus may I respond with wisdom and grace to each challenge and when I fail, may I find the strength to admit my weakness and look for ways I can learn and grow and hopefully do better next time.  And, as the days get busier and more stressful, may I not forget to look for those moments when I can live intentionally, or better yet, may I learn to live intentionally in each and every moment.