Monday, November 13, 2017

Monday Journal Entry


November 8, 2017

Time flies………….and flies and flies.  Where does it go?

Still feeling somewhat under the weather, I kept things as simple as I could Monday with the girls.  They were both still not feeling the best either.  Rory napped for me some and overall the day went well even though we were all a bit irritable from feeling poorly for over a week.  It felt strange not having the twins and knowing that they will no longer be joining us once a week.  Analia asked about them a lot and I had to explain to her several times why they were no longer coming on Mondays. 

Since we had all been sick, I figured it was a good time to get the soup bones out and make a good, bone broth.  I cooked the bones half the day, pulled a little of the broth off, mixed it with some roast beef I had cooked previously, thickened it and we had that over noodles along with several veggies for supper.  I continued to cook the remaining bones and broth throughout the night for a bone broth that turned out thick like a gelatin once it was cooled.  That’s where the nutrients are and boy do we need to build up our immunities again.  Tuesday, I used the bone broth for a base to make a vegetable soup. 

Tuesday morning was election day and Alissa and I went together so that I could help her with the kids and then I went to the Factory Antique Mall in Verona and pulled our whole booth apart as well as our shelves and display case that we have in our friend’s booth in the front of the store.  There was not an item left untouched as I moved every single piece, attempting to give both areas a new look.  It paid off because today we had great sales on items that I had staged and displayed prominently.  I spent three and a half hours there and still didn’t get quite everything in order but had to come back home to watch the girls so Alissa could go to class.  Mike and I went back over today on our way out of town and spent another half hour finishing up.  I really need to get over there once every two or three weeks and totally rotate the whole booth so as to give it a new look.  It’s just finding the time that’s the hard part.  We were very pleased with our sales today and I’m thankful my hard work payed off. 

The girls have a harder time at night than they do during the day and it was a rough evening Tuesday night.  Rory cried a good bit, probably because of the six molars she is cutting at one time.  She ended up going to sleep for a bit which gave me an opportunity to read to Analia and give her some attention. 

I gathered up multiple boxes of home canned fruit, veggies and pickles from Staunton today and we brought them to Laurel Fork.  I love having a genuine cellar here where I can organize and arrange my canned goods.  I didn’t do a whole lot of canning this past summer with us being in transition but I have been trying to use up some of the older canned goods as well as the older fruit and veggies in the freezer.  We have been blessed with so much excess for so many years that it’s hard to stay ahead of it, especially with the frozen food that will go bad with time.  (The canned goods keep very well for years and it’s not such an issue.)  It was also nice to get a whole section of shelving cleaned off in the basement in Staunton and be able to tell Alissa that she can start organizing her things and putting them on that shelf when she is ready.  We have been “sharing” the “junk room” in the basement while we are in transition.  Her things that don’t have a home yet after their move and my things that are awaiting their new home, or Goodwill, or the landfill are thrown together in one huge mess.  At least we can shut the door and not look at it when we don’t’ want to.  It made me feel good to make some headway in that room today even though it was only a baby step.  I also moved some of our Christmas decorations.  I am leaving the artificial tree there for Alissa as I plan to go back to using a live try for the first time since Josh’s death.  It’s strange but I just couldn’t bring myself to put up a live tree after he died.  I am looking forward to having a real tree once again this year in Laurel Fork, although we will use the artificial tree with the baby proof decorations with Aurora in Staunton for a few more years anyway. 

We had a gift certificate to Olive Garden and made a detour to Roanoke to eat there for supper on our way to Laurel Fork tonight.  (I almost typed “on our way home tonight” and indeed Laurel Fork is now home to us and Staunton just a place we visit even though our time is roughly spent equally between the two places at this point.)    After we had a nice meal, instead of getting on the interstate, we drove across town and got on the Blue Ridge Parkway and took it all the way home.  It takes a little longer due to the fog and the slower speed limits but it’s so nice to not have to deal with the horrible traffic.  There were plenty of deer out and we love the scenery along the parkway.  Never do I travel the parkway without thinking of the people forced to give up their homes so that the parkway could be built.  It’s always bittersweet as I look at the beautiful land and I’m thankful it is preserved for all of us to enjoy but I am saddened for the ones who had it forcefully taken away from them.  It will never seem “fair” to me.  We can take the parkway to within just a few miles from hour home, just past the well-known Mabry Mill.  There we get on Highway 58 to make our way to our little farm.  I am always filled with such peace when we turn into our driveway and our little farmhouse is sitting there waiting for us. 

November 10, 2017

Letting go of “story lines” and expectations are two major points in a book I am reading (for the second time) by Pema Chodron.  Without a huge explanation here in my journal, in my own simple interpretation and application to my own life, I can see how much I have lived my life by the story lines I have created for myself and many of those story lines were based on what I felt were the expectations of others.  Learning to let go of this way of thinking takes practice and I am sure will never be completely unlearned but the awareness brings me much to contemplate.  Within this frame of thought is the idea that when things arise that don’t fit within our neat little story line that we wish to create for ourselves, we are given the opportunity to make a choice to fret, panic, react in fear or some other “negative emotion”.  On the other hand, we are given the opportunity to reject a negative reaction when our lives are turned upside down (or simply don’t go as planned) and see it as an opportunity for growth.  The idea is to look at these situations with a sense of interest, wonder, and an intent to gain wisdom rather than to react with worry, fear or aggression.  We are somehow wired (and often taught from childhood) that we need to be in charge and make things a certain way for ourselves or for those we love.  But life keeps throwing in our path a series of events that wreck our plans and with our “in charge” attitudes we struggle against that. 

Anyway, the readings I mull over from Pema’s book are beneficial to me right now on many levels.  Some of my Little People are further removed from our life and I have to let be what will be, reaching out to try to keep the doors always open with non-judgment and love.  Our children are scattered, Mikey a world away in Thailand, Kristin finding herself in transition with an unclear direction (at least to us) at this point, and Alissa struggling to make it through the last portion of grad school.  The other two Little People are struggling with ever changing schedules and child care providers and parents distracted by work and educational responsibilities.  Then there is the frailty of the sweet, aging mind of a close family member whom I have been trying to manage from a distance with the help of a part time caregiver. 

We do what we can but life has its own surprises and we alone are not the writers of our own stories or the stories of others. 

I’ll just let that hang right there because somewhere in the knowledge and acceptance of life’s transitions, surprises, and difficulties lies the kind of wisdom that makes us better people and the world a better place.

November 11, 2017

The barn saga continues.  As a brief recap, here’s where we are with the barn restoration:  After many months seeking out someone who fit our budget, who would actually show up and work, and who would offer quality labor, we found a contractor.  The work went somewhat slower than what we anticipated and at $85 an hour for the crew, we had to call them off after about four days of labor.  The quality of work was great but needing to save some money so that we could continue with that project and others, we decided to do some of the work ourselves that didn’t require scaffolds or tall ladders.  We also had run out of materials, the estimate by the contractor being short on what we actually needed to finish the job.  Between the rains and inclement weather, Mike has been able to locate some lumber that had been discounted for some knots and rough spots to work on the shed that is attached to the barn.  He also was able to order some more of the lumber that is needed from the saw mill and they are sawing it out early next week.  He has been plugging along by himself and while it’s a slow process, he is making progress and what he has done looks good.  In the meantime, we have been waiting for the handyman whom we met when our new gutters on the house were installed who has been struggling with his schedule and the weather to pain the barn roof.  Waiting on him (and the weather) has given Mike and I too much time to struggle with our decision to patch and pain the existing roof rather than replace it.  From the beginning, I have said it would be best to replace it, but being aware of the expense, I was willing to go with a patch and paint job to get us through for a while.  Mike decided to treat and primer the rust spots on a section that was easy to reach where the roof drops down to almost ground level and then pain that small section to see how it would do.  Within a week, the rust had already “bled” through and neither of us were happy with the results.  As all of this has been taking place over the last several months, Mike has been playing phone tag with a contractor who finally made it out this week to take a look at the barn roof and give Mike a bid to replace it.  While the expense is one we would like to avoid, we are on the schedule for him to replace the roof but that probably won’t happen until January.  We are only going to replace the roof on the main barn, opting to patch and paint the roof on the shed that attaches to the back side of the structure. 

Mike was working on the barn yesterday and I was cleaning house when our friend from South Carolina (with whom we dabble in antiques) texted and said he was in the area and would stop by for a bit to pick up some items we had been storing for him.  He decided to stick around for the day and we had a long lunch at the Crooked Oak Restaurant where our favorite waitress was off for the day but happened by and gave us a hug while she was there.  That evening we drove to an estate auction about an hour away in North Carolina.  The place was packed and Mike and I never even bid on anything.  The estate did not hold anything of real value in my opinion except for the musical instruments that were being sold.  I know nothing about the value of musical instruments but several of the pieces sold for significant amounts of money.  The top selling item was a “Student Sized Gibson Guitar Model LG-0” that sold for almost $2000.  The selling of the musical instruments was interesting.

We have had some days that felt like fall but last night was the first time it felt like winter.  The temps were to drop down into the teens here in the mountains and knowing the temperature would be dropping, I wore my winter clothes, and boots (up to this point I have been braving the chilly fall weather with my sandals, as I tend to not put them away until I absolutely have to).  I also took along with me a thick lap quilt.  I have been to enough auctions now to know that a few items of personal comfort can make a big difference for a long auction. 

Above the lights of Mt. Airy as we passed on Interstate 77, I noticed the clear sky and the bright stars on our way home and when we got home away from the city lights and interstate traffic, I took a moment to look up and take in the beauty.  Unlike Staunton where our farm is surrounded by dozens of other homes, there were no other homes visible and no porch lights or street lights to compete with the light of the stars so far above my head.  I’ve always been thankful for our home in Staunton and all the blessings that it offered us, and as I have mentioned previously in my journal, I initially fought the impending changes that started taking place in our life not quite five years ago when Mike’s dad passed away.  When I stopped “kicking and screaming” and began to lean into those changes I discovered a life even better than what I was trying to hold onto.  I had been holding on to the story line that I had created for myself that included living out the rest of my life working the land that had belonged to my husband’s family for three generations.  I didn’t want to let that go because I had made it my identity taking comfort in the idea of roots and permanence.  When I finally let go of my own story line and began to lean into the changes that life was bringing us, it allowed Mike and I to truly become partners on this new path which has brought us a tremendous amount of peace and joy. 

November 12, 2017

We got up early yesterday and went to one of our “stand by” auction houses.  I had a feeling that we would not find much to resale at this particular sale so I took along a book and ended up reading it most of the time.  Mike was able to socialize for a while and then we left before the event was finished.  We came straight home and I headed to the kitchen.  I had thawed three pounds of our grass fed/grass finished ground beef and I divided it and made two meat loaves, one to eat for supper and the other to take back with us to Staunton for a meal with the kids/grandkids.  I had onions and peppers from our garden for the meatloaf as well as my homemade ketchup to bake on top.  We also had enough lettuce and tomatoes from the garden for a fresh salad.  I baked a rather large butternut squash and we ate part of it and will take the rest back to Staunton with us for a meal there.  I was a little disappointed when I went to the cellar and found that some of my apples I had in storage were already starting to go bad.  (It seems that no matter what, one can’t find an apple that will keep for long periods of time anymore.)  I am experimenting with different varieties that we like to see which ones keep better long term.  The Granny Smith and the Pink Ladies seem to be holding up ok at this time.  I didn’t have but one of them that needed to be culled.  However, the Rome and the Stamen Apples had a good number of them that needed to be culled.  I had to throw a few away but the rest I was able to cut the bad spots out and use at least some of them.  Since I had the oven on anyway, I just sliced them, added a little brown sugar and cinnamon and baked them covered until they were tender.  Once we had our supper, I got the dishes clean, and I called my Grandma, then we went to work pricing some items we had pulled to stock our booths at the antique malls.  (We recently added a booth at a new location in Verona.)  This past summer I had purchased a “Tom and Jerry” serving set and I pulled that out of the closet where I had it packed and stored.  I really struggled with letting this piece go because I love 1940-1950’s era, functional, glassware so much.  However, I try to be practical and the truth is, most of the year it would be stored away and I might use it once a year if even that.  I have loved researching this particular item and I love the simple but festive look it lends for the holidays.  The milk glass cups were very stained around the rims in some instances and the set just didn’t look as bright and pristine as some I had seen when I researched, I decided to put all 16 cups and the large punch bowl in a heavy solution of bleach water and let them soak for a few minutes.  I really thought the stains were permanent and that it would reduce the value of the set but once I got them cleaned up, they looked like they had just arrived from the factory in 1940.  I was so excited that my little bit of extra work paid off and it made it even harder for me to put that price tag on the set.  I can’t say I will be disappointed if the set doesn’t sell this year.  Another really cool item I had bought back in the summer and tucked away was a set of handcrafted straw and burlap reindeer made with glass eyes.  This set is unique and beautiful and one that I had originally purchased thinking I would keep it for myself.  However, I am attempting to keep things simple and it’s an item that I feel lends itself to making our booth appealing for the holidays, so I have decided to let it go.  I think part of dabbling in antiques and making it work is being happy with finding things that make other people happy, help them remember the past, or helping them learn about the history behind an item.  Being able to look at something, know someone else will enjoy it, and then letting it pass through our hands rather than hoarding it up for ourselves is the best all the way around.  Enjoying things for the moment and then letting go.  That fits in perfectly with the life lessons that I have been practicing recently.