My Hope

My beautiful, precious Hope left this world Monday evening after a valiant fight but not before making sure that she gave life to the seven pups that she carried in her womb. She became lethargic on Saturday but it was extremely hot and she was very pregnant and when I called the emergency clinic, they suggested it was probably just the heat. Sunday she seemed a bit better but by Monday, her life was in danger. I grabber her up Monday morning and rushed her to the emergency clinic because the clinic I use didn't open until eight and all their emergencies are
referred to the valley's emergency clinic. Both the emergency clinic and my vet concluded that she had an acute and rapid onset of pacreatitis. I have since done some research on it and have found that it is more prevalent in miniature dogs and specifically in Dachshunds and a few other breeds. (http://www.2ndchance.info/pancreatitis.htm) I spent the day by Hope's side and the techs were surprised at how she responded to my being there. She actually seemed to improve at times and we became hopeful that she would pull through. She would lick my face, wag her tail and try to crawl into my lap.

However, I was told it was only with a blood transfusion as the first choice of treatment that she stood the best chance of survival. The second choice of treatment was Oxyglobin which was just as expensive as the transfusion. Since we did not have a donor in time, we opted for the Oxyglobin but first we had to remove the pups either naturally or by c-section. The vet felt that naturally would be less risk to Hope because putting her under was risky. Hope valiantly fought for the life of her pups for several hours and had five of them naturally. Three of those were born breech. In the end, the last two pups were to far in the birth canal and too much time had passed and they had to be taken by c-section.

All seemed well when the tech brought me the last two pups (for a total of seven) but fifteen minutes later I was sobbing loudly and holding my head in my hands as the reality hit me of the words "I'm sorry. We lost her. She didn't make it."

How could this be? My sweet little momma who was so healthy and full of life just a few short days before? I am so devestated by my loss and grieve deeply for this little friend who has brought me so much comfort and joy over the last three years.

The last four days have been a fog. I feed the pups by hand every two hours around the clock. I hold them in my hands and pray that they will find the strength to live. I grieve for the loss of my sweet momma dog. I think I see her sitting at the kitchen door looking in at me like she always does, but it's my mind playing tricks on me. I miss her tail wagging and the way she looked at me with those gentle eyes. I miss the way she would sneak into the milking shed and climb into my lap while I milk the cows. I always scolded her for this, because I never allow dogs in the milking shed as it is too distracting. Hopie always knew she could get by with more than the other dogs and in my lap she would stay. I miss the way I held her long Dachshund body in my arms like a baby and put my face close to hers so she could give me kisses.

We buried my girl under the weeping Cherry tree that was given to me when Joshua passed away in September. I don't know if dogs go to heaven, but I would like to think of my Hope sitting in Josh's lap and licking his face right now.

Sweet Hope, you will never be forgotten and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

1 comment:

Jessika said...

I'm so sorry, Tammy for such a suddden unexpected loss of Dear Hope. How are the pups?