I admit I am having a most difficult time adjusting to the idea that Hope is gone. I am hurting so badly over the loss of my dear little friend and "why" keeps running through my head.
I had not wanted her to get bred this time around, as I wanted her to have a break. I was going to breed her one last time, but had hoped to do that at a later date. Someone accidentally did not get the door fastened on the very last day that Hope was in heat, and she became pregnant from that one encounter. Today I struggled witht he whys of that as well. If she had not gotten pregnant would she have had the strength to fight the pancreatitis? I believe she gave every last ounce of life to her precious puppies and died knowing that they all lived. She was such a good mother, that would have been just like her to be determined to hang on just long enough to see that the pups were born. I torture myself with all of it. I had checked religiously the whole time she was in heat to make sure that doors were shut and locked. I got lax one time and she got pregnant. I could easily blame myself for her death, even though we don't know if the pancreatitis had anything to do with her pregnancy. But then today, I had a thought. Perhaps, God knowing all things, decided since He was taking Hope away from this world that he would leave me with the gift of life. Seven little lives are left in my care. I am feeding them by hand every two hours and they seem to be thriving. I am praying for them to survive. Perhaps, Hope gave them life, so that their lives could give me and others hope. For, where there is life, there is Hope.